Shooting stars and magicians

I forgot this little tidbit the other day so I’m sharing today. When discussing my next career since I'm presently unemployed and homeschooling two of my kids, I asked my family for input. So the answer to my question, “What kind of job should I look for?” Emma, said immediately, “A magician!” Apparently there are rabbits in hats somewhere she believes I’m qualified to pull out. Go figure. I can’t stand magic tricks and the whole thing annoys me. How do they saw the people in half? And why am I even discussing this as if it would even be a logical next step?

John and I saw a huge shooting star on our walk tonight. It was the biggest one I’ve ever seen and it went right over our house. I am taking it as a good sign for us and thanking God for it.

I had a major divine revelation today that opened up a tremendous mystery to me. I can’t share it yet but maybe someday. There have been some very private things that have happened with me and God since last week, and I can tell we are making progress with me. It’s very exciting and this experience of trusting God just got a tiny bit easier. For me, the way I make progress with God is, I tell Him what I think I want or what I think my problem is, or maybe I’m not even sure what the problem is.....and He lets me think about it and mull over it and I tell Him all the ways to fix it or change it or change someone else to make me happy. Strangely enough, He never takes my advice and He NEVER fixes the other person. For some odd reason He makes me focus on me. Then after long days and nights that are sometimes tear filled or anger filled, only on my end of course, I finally realize I have to let Him have the “thing” that makes me crazy or hurts me or makes me worry or terrifies me. He and I have gone through this process many times and I can tell you from my experience, He has much more patience than I and He does the waiting game much better too. It annoys me. But He doesn’t seem concerned about it.

Then finally after I've made many points and defenses about my behavior, it always comes down to me telling Him I'll do what it takes to continue to follow Him no matter the cost. And I'll surrender my will for His, and then eventually that thing I'd been fighting over is miraculously gone, and I never even realized it went away. More than one broken heart just faded away and I never even knew it happen. God’s good like that and I love Him for it. I’m not sure what tomorrow holds for me, but I'm going to trust God with all my heart and spend my time trying my best to honor Him. It's been a rocky few days and I still can’t see the future, but as someone told me recently, I know who holds my future and I trust Him with it.
I love you Lord.