Another day

I love the movie Frequency because of the relationship between the dad and son. It’s a good movie.

Today was a good church day, but then all of them are. Marcus Akers preached today and he's fantastic. I took a whole page of notes and was on the edge of my seat listening to him. It gave me a tremendous boost to my soul and I thank God for him and his family and God bless them in Jesus name. Some of the stories of the Bible I will be rereading again are Moses being called by God to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt and Joseph being sold into slavery. Those are amazing stories of people that couldn’t imagine the gravity of their circumstances. Especially Joseph and the fact that he ended up in prison in spite of the fact he did the right thing.

God and I are still at odds on how this whole timeline thing works. I tell Him all the time I want stuff to be fixed now but it seems He's not ready for some reason. Sigh………and so I wait and try to have patience and understanding instead of pitching a 2 year old fit on His head. Not that that would work. Once again God is faithful to answer my prayer for fresh manna from Heaven and I'm grateful to Him for that and even in the midst of trials, somehow I'm receiving His peace and I'm so excited to be getting it. I want peace on the wrong side of the answer and by that I mean I want peace before I know that my problem will or won’t work out the way I want. It’s very important for me to have it that way. I want God to know that I'll serve Him in spite of fear or concern. I want Him to see that I'll trust Him no matter what the end result will look like. And of course I hope I'll win the war and all will come out for the best but I need my peace before I know that.

On another note I was reminded tonight of one of my fondest memories of my kids when they were little. I absolutely loved watching them learn how to ride their bikes without training wheels. It was always such a big step for them when we took the training wheels off and we tried to help them figure it all out: how to keep their balance, pedal, stop, go...all of the things that go along with learning to ride a bike and putting it all together to make it work. With great anticipation we would begin the process and of course there were fears and some tears but eventually it all worked at once and in this one perfect moment of accomplishment. I remember how proud I was of them and how proud they were of themselves. Every time each of my kids achieved that goal, it meant they became a little more independent and needed me a little less but I wouldn’t have changed it for anything.

And with each passing year, I see they need me less and less every day but it’s still more accomplishment than sadness. And it's helped me realize that I think that’s’ where I am with God right now. I just learned to “ride another bike” with God’s help. And this achievement for me is very private and just between me and Him. And it’s not that I would ever need Him less but it does mean that when He helps me get to the next level of whatever we've been working on, I walk a little straighter and more confident in His love. And after a time out, He lets me take a few deep breathes and maybe a time off for good behavior before we move on to the next thing I'll have to face. And so today has been a big deal for me and it’s not because any of my circumstances changed, because they haven’t. But just as in the past, somehow without me noticing, He brought me to the other side of this great big ocean of problem and I never even felt the wind change. My God is wonderful and I’m His beloved and He is mine.

I love you Lord.

Song of Solomon 2:16
16 My beloved is mine, and I am his.
He feeds his flock among the lilies.