Originated by Whitney (who clearly had too much time on her hands when she "worked" at church)
Whitney
What did you get in the mail today?
Lisa
Whitney Caroline In the mail today I got a home made card from you Whitney Caroline and a stamp and a note from you asking me to sign the card with something encouraging and mail it back to you! YOU ARE SO WEIRD! So so weird.....
Carrie
that girl got wwwaayyyy ttoooo much time on her hands...... and you don't know if I went to buy the phone or NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)- THAT IS ME STICKIN MY TONGUE OUT AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer....it would seem that an email got out of order so I'm not sure to what Carrie is responding BUT it's very shocking that she is unsure about buying a phone.....it's so out of character
Emma
um i just want to say that that was one of the funniest things ever! and me my mom and olivia went to hallmark yesterday and the cards that when you open them make noises and sing songs.. love them!! i want all of them they are fantastic.
Carrie
we can all get Whit some construction paper for Christmas... we can all get cards.....woohoo..........
Apparently some days go by and then it's October 2, 2007 with the next email titled:
Hee hee hee watch this
Originated by Lindsey
Lindsey
Hey Whitney...I got flowers and a sweet note from Lisa last night...
Judy
What is it Carlie says....? THE CAN IS OPEN! THE WORMS ARE OUT!THE TIRE HAS HIT THE PAVEMENT!THE POO HAS HIT THE FAN!DUCK!RUN FOR THE HILLS!NOW IT'S ON!etc., etc., etc.
Mollie
oh this is gonna be good.also, last night mamaw and papaw brought us some peppermints..whitney put them in a ziplock bag and wrote to whitney, i love you. mamaw and papaw on the bag. she wrote it herself! she is so weird.
Whitney (notice she is yelling)
OH MY GAH. MARY LISA WALKER HERROCK! THAT IS SO RUDE. I HAD EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO SEND ME A NICE CARD....STAMP INCLUDED...AND YOU SENT ME A CARD WITH A NASTY HAIRY FOOT DRAWING WITH TOE FUNGUS ON IT. I AM HURT, I AM ANGRY, AND PROBABLY A LITTLE JEALOUS IF I WERE TOTALLY HONEST. FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE FLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AFTER ALL THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU AT SCHOOL, AND I DONT GET A SINGLE FLOWER WITH MY 'CARD'. YOU ARE CAUSING ME TO STUMBLE ON PURPOSE.I NEED TO PRAY FOR YOU THAT YOU WOULD REPENT FOR YOUR WICKEDNESS. I UNDERSTAND IT WAS NICE FOR LINDSEY, BUT YOU NEED TO THINK OF OTHERS ON THIS EARTH AS WELL. I HAVE BEEN THERE TIME AND TIME AGAIN, SITTING IN YOUR OFFICE, AVOIDING GOING TO WORK, AND WHAT IS THANKS I GET...TOE JAM ON A HAIRY FOOT. YOU BETTER BE GLAD I DON'T HAVE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR; YOU WOULD BE GETTING COAL; DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?COAL. FOR BEING RUDE.I MIGHT JUST FIND OUT WHO HAS YOU FOR CHRISTMAS AND TELL THEM TO GET YOU COAL. THEN MAYBE YOU CAN TRADE IN ALL THE COAL YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS FOR A TRAIN RIDE TO SPITESVILLE. YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE REAL FAMOUS IN SPITESVILLE AFTER THEY HEAR WHAT YOU DID TO ME. RUDE. UH, SPITEFUL.UHH, MEAN. ILL PRAY FOR YOU AND SEE WHAT GOD CAN DO. IM SO BIBLICAL RIGHT NOW...PRAYING FOR THINE ENEMY.IM AN ANGEL. I WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW, I AM AN ANGEL. SEE YOU LATER, EVERYONE. I HAVE TO PICK MYSELF UP, AND GO TO WORK.
GOODBYE.
Judy
Yep. That was really, really good.
Lindsey
I believe that is what you call looking for a reaction and GETTING IT.
Mollie
yes, mission accomplished.
Whitney
Mrs. Judy brought me a pink rose and a bookmark. GOD BLESS HER! How she would know how I needed that!...oh, God is good amen?
Lindsey
Did lisa really not respond to whitney's response? Someone go check on her.
Lisa
I was unable to respond earlier because I was in the holy of holies.........praying...........for Whitney's eternal soul.......and her sanity........... let's first address the card......ha....no pun intended but it works.........it was a picture of a foot because we STAND on the rock.......hello? it was prophetic.........a "picture" somewhat like the Chinese picture that Mollie was talking about. Whitney refused to receive the word........ It was "jammy" well because life is jammy. We get all jammy when we are walking on feet..........again a picture of God telling us to hold on as we are walking cause HE will clean out the jam. It was hairy.............well........that was just to gross her out......... BUT it also served a purpose because I don't think she will be asking me to send her any more cards! Now that the foot card has been addressed.....let's take a short stroll down memory lane to last Friday afternoon when Whitney Caroline asked Caitlin to bring her some chocolate chip cookies from our house to her "at work" (now picture Whitney kicked back in her chair, cola with a little umbrella in her hand, music blaring, sunglasses on, and as people come in to the office looking at them with a WHAT DO YOU WANT? look on her face). Caitlin selfishly refused to bring the cookies BUT I being the excellent Christian being that I am did without thought to myself bring multi cookies to Whitney. IN FACT when I called to tell her I was coming to bring her the cooks.....she answered and said very very aggravatedly....What do you want? (refer back to the previous parenthesis for an example of this). I chose to put her "attitude" aside and continued on my way to do the Christian thing. As she was standing in the sunshine basking in the glow of my generous gift, Lydia proceeded to drive up with a big glass of tea for her so she had multi people serving her! UMM UM UMM (spoken with attitude). I choose to look past the anger that was directed at me..........sigh........my generosity and ability to forgive probably amazes God. (REALLY REALLY KIDDING GOD)
Lindsey
Ahhhhh.... Thank you. I was concerned.
Judy
That's the biggest crock I ever heard in my whole life. I love it. Spiritualize everything, that's what I say!
Melanie
But a very creative crock at that.
Judy, Does Daniel have his own tool box and tools?
(Daniel was apparently moving into his apartment)
Judy
Yes, he has a tool box and some tools, but not many. I'll find out what he needs and let you know.And yes, Lisa's crock is always very creative.
Lisa
You are welcome AND it took me ALOT of my "work time" to compose that email..........and yet I do not care
Melanie
I am the most untalented person on the face of the planet. How do you come up with all this unbelievable I just sit her amused and amazed!!!
Judy (it seems Judy tried to change the conversation I guess)
I went to Wikihow. I am amazed. I found this information, and I have to say I have always, always, always, always, always..(etc)..wanted to know:
HOW TO ATTEND A FREE WILL BAPTIST CHURCH:
1. Check the local telephone book, church websites, or church signs to find out the time of the worship services. Sunday School is often held before worship, and visitors are encouraged to attend. Free Will Baptists tend to dress more conservatively in cities (dresses for women, pants and shirt for men), and laid back in rural areas (slacks for women, and jeans for men).
2. When you arrive at the church you will be greeted, and welcomed. You may sit where you choose.
3. The service usually consists of music (hymns, choirs, or individual voices), and the sermon. This varies from church to church.
4. The Free Will Baptist Church observes three ordinances, communion, baptism, and the washing of the saint's feet. Most churches observe "Open Communion". These ordinances are not observed weekly.
5. The long bench in front of the pulpit is usually called the altar. It is used for prayer. Church should never be boring.
6. There are many churches that are upbeat and not boring. Try to find one of these churches.
Emma (is referring to the fact that I wrote my brilliant response in a lovely shade of lavender and because I am cutting and pasting for EVER I decided to leave that be)
whats with the colorful words??? as in the blue/purple words not like curse words cuz i haven't seen any of those............yet muahaha
Lisa (apparently Whitney was left off of my brilliant response)
don't know why you didn't get it cause your name was on it
Becky weighed in much later on the controversy because her response didn't come in until much later that day and it was titled:
I'm telling you, Lisa
Becky
you are missing the boat!! You could make SO MUCH money by writing! You could be richer than all of us combined! Granted = that would not be so much - but you could make loads! YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!!!I, too, am amused and amazed!!
Judy
And actually, Lisa, my idea is that the hairiness of the foot could have prophetically symbolized the "hairy" situations we find ourselves, like the "jammy" ones, only more in need of a brush or comb than, say, peanut butter.
Lisa
Oh that is deep hairy feet and peanut butter
Judy
Yes, Lisa Herrock - the Erma Bombeck of the prophetic world.
The freaking end.
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