2 related emails....you'll see why

Originated by Lindsey
2-27-08
boys

Lindsey
Ok, so i get home tonight and my front door was open. Like ajar not just unlocked. Honestly I wasn't real worried about it, but I wanted to be safe so I call my brother and tell him my front door was open when i got home. Ok, he says, i'll be there in a minute and i'm bringing my gun. Well, he wasn't playing. He got here all business pistol in hand and checked every room closet and bed. But not just normal looking. Like you see on the movies where they throw open the door. Yes, this is what he did. I was doubled over laughing. Would he have really shot someone? Would he have had the nerve? I don't know, but it gave me a chuckle for sure.

P.S. I put Jared and Austin on this email so they could give their boy input if desired.

Whitney
Just pissed he didn't call me...party pooper

Judy
Austin shoots stuff. That's what he does. He likes it. Austin would have shot anything that moved in the house. I'm glad nothing did.

Stephanie
i do not put it past austin to shoot a person.
its some weird fantasy i think.
i mean...maybe its a boy thing.

Carlie
oh, for sure. he would have shot someone. but he would interrogate them first.
i do believe it's a universal.....boy thing.

Mollie
Oh yeah. Without a doubt would have taken the shot. Probably woulda taken out a leg. Shoot first, ask questions later. And I agree..I think its in the boy gene.

Carrie
oh my goodness...scary..... no shooting .... no shooting......and Lindsey why wouldn't you be concerned about the door being ajar??????? Glad he found nothing... but oh my goodness.......

Carrie
I did get the visual thou glad he is there to protect and give you a laugh and can hear Jared say aaahhh man......

Lydia
John Wayne Lucas mccain Dick Tracy?????

Lindsey
I was not concerned because when I was leaving my house Grace took off down the road and I was getting out quickly and I'm sure I just didn't close it all the way.

Lydia
Lin, be sure to stay behind him because if you move and startle him, well let's face shoot first and ask questions later.

Whitney
the other night at chillis, i was telling all of the table (including austin) about the owl that lives in our back yard and all the birds i watch.
he started laughing at me then said, I want to come watch with you.
i got really excited and was saying of course it'll be so much fun and you'll love it, but he and jared started laughing.
i then realized why he wanted to come.
he said...you want to hold one? ill make it happen...you can pet it...it wont move it will be totally still.
terrible. those birds sing and fly and they are beautiful. i would never want to hurt one.
he was uninvited.

Lindsey
boys are such a weird breed

Lisa
I don't think a "hoo" "hoo" constitues singing as much as it's just saying "hoo" "hoo"....."hoos that watching me with the binouculars that her precious dear aunties gave her for her birthday"....(which reminds me Whitney told me a few weeks ago we didn't have to get her anything for her birthday this year).......BUT i don't want Austin to shoot it so I'm glad you uninvited him....also remember God created Adam outside of the Garden of Eden so boys have that wildness in them.....I tell John ALL THE TIME..."You are just lucky we let yal sleep inside"........also remember in the Old Testament when they sinned (and for other reasons) they had to kill and smear blood.....I have thought about the fact that I am grateful we don't have adorable little sheep that we are growing and feeding just so we can slit their throat to atone for bad stuff.....I mean....think about the cute little sheep face......ugh....I could not could not do it......

Lindsey
could not and would not do it.
We don't have to get Whitney a birthday present????
Score.
Thanks Whit for being so selfless. You're amazing.

Austin
ok, so why would i not go through the house with a gun when i have multiple on hand? i seriously thought about bringing the machine gun but went with the pistol because the pistol has hollowpoints(i know only jared gets this, so i will explain) When and if i did shoot someone, and i would so have loved to shoot someone last night, if he got hit with a hollowpoint the projectile pretty much explodes upon impact tearing into one huge jagged piece of metal that then annihilates totally organs, skin, bones, and anything else it touches. Kind of like mine and jareds fist, mind you. Also, stating this, you can see that i was prepared to kill. and I dont think that i would have asked questions. Lin asked if i would have really shot someone, and i replied,"Yeah, if he was coming at me." Then i thought about it, hes an intruder in lins house, and i totally have the right to shoot him no matter what, so if he would have just kind of stood there with his arms up, i mightve put one in his thigh for the heck of it, then if he says anything to the police, i mean lets face it. Who they gonna believe? Jared, i was pressed on time and unable to invite, but you didnt invite me when yall had an ACTUAL guy outside yalls house with a tire iron. Nevertheless, i digress, i would love to shoot someone. Simple as that, i dont know why. I think it stored in the part of my brain that wants to find a dead body....
Dont mess with me, ill shoot you. (might be my new motto)
Austin.

Emma
Nice.

Lindsey
I'm scared a little bit.

Judy
Emma, please take note. The next time you have an alligator dream, please make sure Austin is in it.

Carrie
ooohhhh that girl........

Carrie
good call on the uninvite.... Whit.......what is their moto............make flyin things be stilll?????

Carrie
OH MY GOODNESSS!!!!! Is Austin PMS ING?????? and outside the house with a tire iron uuuhhhh when and why and when?????? praying now praying.... Help Us LORD please........

Lisa
agree.....well said Judy....kill all the alligators

Emma
I will try my best Mrs. Judy

The second email came from Whitney regarding a statement I made about her birthday present. Isn't it ridiculous how much time we spend talking about Whitney's birthday?

Originated by Whitney
2-28-08
I'm afraid there has been a misunderstanding.

Whitney
I did not say I did not want birthday presents.
I did not say you (all of you) did not have to buy me presents.
I believe what I said was taken completely out of context.
And, I do in fact want birthday presents.
Now, guidelines:
You really don't have to spend hundreds of dollars.
USEFUL gifts from the heart will be greatly appreciated.
(If you question the definition of useful, give me a call and I will yay or nay your idea.)
Thanks so much for your support of the idea, but no it was not an accurate description of how my birthday is going to be.
AND ONE LAST THING:
Whitover is looking to be celebrated March 12, 13, and 14. Wed-Friday.
There is a possible change it will be 13,14,15, Thursday- Saturday.
I will let you know as soon as possible so you can prepare wonderful things for me.
With much love,
Whitney Caroline Walker

Lisa
I am sticking with no presents OR a present from the heart would be a heart made out of construction paper.......done.........Happy bday

Lydia
laughter comes in strange places and at strange timeslollololololol as long and as loud as you can

Lindsey
darnit

Carrie
Hey Jared What you gonna get Whit for bday????????