Decorating drama

There's decorating drama in my house and it's stressing me out. It started last week when I realized the fabric headboard on my bed is more than 15 years old and dirty and a long time ago I accidentally wrote on it with a hot pink sharpie. Don't ask me how it happened but it wasn’t on purpose. What grown woman would write on her fabric headboard on purpose? But then what grown woman would let a hot pink sharpie get away from her and write on a fabric headboard? Anyway I wanted to find an inexpensive fabric to recover my headboard so I began the search for the perfect fabric for $2.49 and guess what? It doesn't exist. Fabric isn't cheap and since my budget is still $2.49, I'm still looking. Well, I found some fabric for more than $2.49 and then I pondered and thought and pondered and thought and finally made a decision and then just as an afterthought decided to look at the chosen fabric in my actual bedroom. That's when it rocked my world. The lighting in my bedroom made the fabric take on this appalling gag colored hue and that’s when I threw my hands up and vowed to quit all together. Enter...rocked world.

And now, this whole "new headboard thing" has been blown WAY out of proportion and is becoming the redoing of my entire house! OK...not really my whole house but I'm now going to have to paint my bedroom.

Let me explain.

I’ll need to give some back story so as to help with the explaining. When I finally finish my calendar/diary of the year 1999, all will see that our house was struck by lightning on September 1 of that year. I won't go into great detail, but after the lightning strike obviously there was room for improvement in our home to remove holes in ceilings and blah blah blah...enter a contractor who drove me nuts and will remain nameless did some...how can I say this......crappy work. SO, because of some shoddy craftsmanship there's been a crack slowly making its way right down the middle of our wall over our bed for many years. I’ve had my eye on it all this time wondering if there was some terrible prophetic statement being made about John's and my marriage but decided to compeletely ignore that fact all together. Anyway, right about now it’s approximately 1/3 of the way down the wall. It’s been making me nuts for years but since I hate painting, I've lived with it and then the other day I said to John, "That crack over our bed makes me nuts." and he said, "Yeah me too." SO, I started looking for the touch up paint so I could patch the crack, touch up the paint and continue to live with the ugly old headboard. That's when I discovered there was no paint and it had been the fall of 1999 since our bedroom had been painted. Well even though we had no touch up paint, John fixed the crack and now unless I want to live with a skunk's stripe directly over the middle of our bed; I have to paint my bedroom. I won't even go into the prophetic meaning of a skunk stripe replacing the crack over our bed. oh no uh uh. But back to the story. I hate painting, but more importantly I hate trying to pick a color. But, lucky me, Emma LOVES to paint so we got lots of paint chips and I tacked about 50 of them all over my walls and then methodically began removing the bad choices. OK, Caitlin actually did that because I have a problem removing paint colors from my choices.

Now, I had my eye on this sage green color called netsuke, don't ask me what that means, but then I found some paint (at an undisclosed place) called Ecru that was related to netsuke and yesterday Emma painted a large section on one wall. Well...it's not good. In the real life in my head Ecru is actually a lovely little off white color but in the real life in my bedroom Ecru is actually some version of pea soup green. So let's just reassess shall we? Now I have pea soup paint on a big portion of 2 walls that CANNOT be ignored, no pictures on the walls and no fabric for the headboard. It’s not good...not good at all. I’m very close to a total nuclear winter meltdown in the real life that’s in my head.

But before Emma went to bed, we had narrowed the 3000 paint choices I had begun with to just 3. She’s gonna pick one in the morning and get a sample and so this post will end with a cliff hanger. What color will she pick? I don’t know. Will I like it? I don’t know. Will I forever have 3 colors on my walls and no fabric chosen? I don’t know.

Am I crazy tired and going to bed? I finally get to answer yes to one easy question.

What’s going to happen?

We shall see.

Will I continue to bore people to tears with the mundane yet zany antics of my life?

Oh, I think that's the one thing for certain.