This has been a week that would best be described as almost over. It's not that anything bad has happened, but I haven't felt any forward progress. I'm still fighting the battle of Olivia's TOPS scholarship. That's right, the semester's almost over and there's still a hold up on hers. It makes me want to scream and if ANYONE thinks government ANYTHING works, understand that you couldn't be more wrong. Fifteen months ago I registered Olivia as a home study student and they're still trying to figure out if I did that. I have the paperwork that I received approved by them but my paperwork isn't something they want to see. I'm gonna stop right now or there could be lots of cussing to follow.
One day this week I got a call from Caitlin that started off with her saying, "OK this could have been so much worse than it was." Which, as a parent, in case you didn't know is never a good phrase coming from one of your children. Of course I thought she'd had a wreck but in fact she "only" got stopped for speeding in a school zone. And God and the angels opened the heavens and had mercy on her ridiculous head because the officer very kindly gave her a $25 seat belt ticket (that she was wearing by the way) instead of a going 15 miles over the speed limit in a school zone. That could have cost her one bazillion dollars. I'll not be paying her fine for her.
Owen's driver's ed is progressing and this last kid in DE will be something I can mark off my bucket list. Side bar on Owen, the other night as I was asking him what soap he was using when he showers he said he used mine (which is Dove) and I said you should be using Dad's deodorant soap and I'm not even lying when he said to me, "I can't find it." After I talked my head out of exploding I had a mini hissy fit because there just aren't that many hiding places in the shower. It's possible even with all of my effort, Owen may be a problem as a husband.
Three nights ago John's snoring was so bad I thought he might ruin the paint job in our room. For that one moment in time I thought I saw the walls and ceiling bending in towards us. It could freak a weak person out. And even though it's bothersome, it makes me laugh because it's completely extreme to the maximum levels. If you ever hear of a tremor in northeast Louisiana, don't be concerned, it's probably just John.
Two night's ago I had the worst nights sleep I've just about ever had. John's snoring was very untremorlike but there was a pain in my right hip I couldn't ignore so I switched sides only to find the exact same pain in my left hip. This led me to explore the mattress topper we have on our bed only to find a banana sized lump right where the pains in my hips were. That just won't suit. So yesterday I awoke a determined human being looking for a memory foam top for our bed and I'm happy to report I found one and had an excellent night's sleep. John could care less because anyone that knows John knows he could sleep on a bed of nails peacefully. I've even witnessed him fall asleep standing up.
Yesterday Addy was having a "you've got to be kidding me" kind of day with ridiculous barking and bark/squeaking and one time when I opened the back door to yell at her, I found her frantically digging a hole. When I yelled very loudly, "Addy!!!" She immediately froze in mid dig with her legs completely still and her face looked as if she thought maybe if she was still long enough she would be invisible to me......she was not. There was a pile of dirt at least a foot in depth. There's hardly a moment in the day when she's not ridiculous.
Emma's working on a presentation about aspartame for her communications class and she's been droning on ad nauseam about the reasons for not using the product which is fine except for the fact that none of us use it. So she turned her focus on John who uses Splenda that Caitlin insists has trace amounts of arsenic in it which causes John to declare is, "Yummy." When John got home from his teaching job and before he left for his paper mill job Emma proceeded to pepper him with facts about the dangers of using artificial sweeteners. Of course he wanted scientific evidence and poo pooed the whole argument which was discussed the whole time he was making his ham and cheese sandwich for lunch which led us to a discussion about how many times a week the man eats cheese. I'm pretty sure he sneaks it when no one's watching. Anyway, the women of the house, mainly me, said his cheese monitoring was gonna be stepped up and as he was leaving he said, "Fine, I'll be back sometime....unless I find a big block of cheese to gnaw on."
Crazy's been creeping in for a while now.
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