The year that was 1996

An adorable Betsy Clark design was the calendar of choice for the year 1996 and 14 years later, it's still cute. Now I'm not gonna bore anyone with the same details as I did in 1995, but just remember that we still got haircuts, school committee meetings and dentist appointments were still happening and gymnastics and tennis was also still in full swing.

Newsflash: there was another men's meeting, but after the scandal of my casserole top being savagely ripped from my home, no food was served.

January was an uneventful month until the 28th when disease and pestilence came to my home in full force and continued until February 5th when I thought it important enough to record the last time Emma and Olivia threw up. The horror of that time is still fresh in my memory and let me say what a hellacious 9 days it was. According to my calendar, baby Owen was the one that began systematically taking people out one by one and as he did, the vomit commenced to flying. But, it wasn't just the vomit that took us over because I do remember somewhere around Christmastime (it went unreported in 1995) Olivia and then Owen got the pox, chicken to be exact, and since it has a 2 week incubation time, BOOM!! You got yourself 4 weeks of the pox. And then, without any intermission, we moved right into the vomitation. I'm not good with the vomit. Not even close. Just the first sound causes me to begin double clutching and knocking sick kids aside to flee the scene. It just takes the slightest of a hurl....oh the horror. On more than one night in the tiny tots stage of our marriage, John and I would be sound asleep with a sick sleeping child between us in our bed and within microseconds of hearing the rumblings of vomit I'd be instantly awake and yelling, GET UP!! GET UP!! GET UP NOW!! Survival mode kicked in ASAP! Sweet Lord I don't miss those times at all. It almost always happened in the darkest of night and it was always more scary than during the day. But with certainty, morning did come and thank God my kids would be much better. During those awful sicknesses I remember thinking my life as I knew it was over and the nightmare might never end. But much to my relief and surprise and prayer, it was just a passing thing, disease eventually gave up and moved on. And I'm still grateful Lord.

One more happening during the pestilence phase of the year was an ice storm on February 2nd. It probably lasted 18 seconds but that's all PGCA ever needed to call off school! And Corsicana was on the books for Dale and Lydia going February 21-24. These were the years when we all took turns going to check on Gran and Grandma as often as possible. Truly had a big job on his hands taking care of Bessie as well as everything on the property and any help we gave him was much appreciated.

Then March roared in and I went to pick Billie June up in Shreveport which probably means it was her turn to go to Corsicana or maybe Dallas to piddle. Spring break, March 11-15, brought vacation and Slade and Nina for a visit. And that means my kids and I spent most of our time at the creek while little munchkin children ran rampant through the neighborhood. But because all good vacays must come to an end, we returned to school on March 18th.

And then April...you gotta love April....if for no other reason than my birth changing the world on the 12th. BUT! Exciting news, I went to a Tupperware party on April 11th at someone's house....but who's, we'll never know. Unless I had it at my own house.....hmmm hadn't thought of that. A girls' trip to Dallas commenced on April 18th where I'm sure I spent too much money and ate too much food but had a fabulous time. And just like that, April turned into May.

Now May is always full of school endings and recitals and graduations and softball and baseball and this one was no exception. Field day was May 3rd. School ended on May 14th and the smell of summer and staying up late and sleeping late wafted through the air like the sweet olive in my backyard. On May 8th, Olivia's birthday, I wrote a very strange and cryptic note which said, "singing at supper" and once again I have no idea what that meant. I think it was in regards to Olivia's birthday, but I'm not sure why I had to tell myself to sing at supper. I've NEVER forgotten a child's bday EVER. Or, maybe we were experimenting with singing as we ate? Or maybe as a future endeavor in life? But because I can't remember, it will forever remain one of life's most intriguing mysteries.

Then softball began with a rain out on May 11th. I won't go into all the details about our girls' softball teams except to say we were AWESOME. And with more than 159 girls in the family playing ball, we spent many an hour at the ballparks cheering our peeps on to victories. We were feared and hated by lots of people during those days. But the winning made up for it.

On May 14th, the mother of all events came around with the girls gymnastics recital which was a big bowl of CRAZY. This event always included what seemed like 6000 girls ranging from 3 years old to 15 and each and every one of them had something to perform and we were there to see each and every freaking one of their feats. It lasted 6 days as helpless parents were held hostage until each and every kid got a medal and a photograph. I have so much video of these events and now all I do is ask myself why? Why did I include all 6000 kids and all 6000 cartwheels and tumbles? Some things don't remain intriguing mysteries, they just remain stupid. In the last 12 to 15 years, we've watched a total of 12 seconds of the recitals. Because some things DO NOT improve with age. Recitals on video is one of those things.

But kudos to me, I obviously lived through the recital because the very next day I made a fruit pizza for the teachers! Yum! And then my family hit the road for Corsicana on May 16th.....yahoo! BUT we arrived back in Monroe for another of those events that changes your life and your eardrums....PIANO RECITAL, May 20. Piano recitals are events where I have to do my best to reign it in as much as possible because bad singing and bad music can cause me to laugh my guts out. People know it's one of my favorite things. And people all over the world know that even with good teachers, little kids tend to......well.....SUCK LARGE MOST OF THE TIME when attempting Rachmaninoff on the baby grand. And our kids usually did not disappoint. I'm sure thousands of sour notes were played all over America that May as I endured my own. But as parents, we all smile....me more than others trying to disguise my fits of laughter...and clap and pull out the earplugs for fear of never hearing normally again. And for most of us it works. And unless my kids read this blog, which is doubtful, they might never have known just how rotten their piano playing was at the wee ages of 5 or 6.

Carrie came for a visit to Monroe on May 25-28. Note that it was AFTER the recital. Smart move Carrie. I'm sure she came to watch softball/baseball/tee ball games. Tee ball is the most fantastic of all the sports. Where else can you watch a cute little kid hit the ball and then head straight through the pitcher's mound to second base? I love me some tee ball. And then to finish off the month with a bang, Lindsey graduated from the 8th grade at Grace on May 30 just in time for Melanie and Randy to get out of town for South Carolina on May 31st. And for what reason, I don't know.

But they arrived home on June 3rd and on that same day, Emma took a diagnostics test for kindergarten which she would attend in the fall. And then another mother of all events was scheduled for June 10-14 with VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL. That one event each year can cause women everywhere to ask the question, "Can I really live through teaching Jesus to 200 kids for 15 hours over 5 days and still be a Christian?" Some days, for me, it was a close call because in case you didn't know, children are inherently bad. And I'm convinced some parents jog through the phone book looking for exactly the same number of Bible schools as there are summer vacation weeks. It's true. And I could go on and on about Bible school but I'm not gonna. It was the source of a tiny amount of fun wrapped inside heat, frustration, Bible learning, heat again and for some adults, disagreements. And, somehow, the week Bible school was scheduled would inevitably coincide with a heat wave of epic proportions and cause grown women to be standing outside in the sun and heat long enough for our hair to flatten as if we'd been in a rainstorm and our makeup to melt off our faces. Ahhh those were blessed times. By the time the 1/2 day ended (felt like 10 hours) me and my kids would head for home, drag ourselves in, turn the AC to FREEZING and let the nap games begin. It was THE Very best part of Bible school if you ask me. And after we survived Bible school and with very little fanfare, June was in the books.

July 1996 marked the very last July 4th celebration we ever had in Corsicana. For 20 years we all met in Corsicana to eat and play and have fun together but with Grandma's health beginning to fail, it was just too much for them to do anymore. But, it was a blast while it lasted. Twenty years of Etheredges and Walkers and more Walkers and Turners and Herrocks and Fords and laughter and hayrides and picnics and swimming. It was all so wonderful. And that's all I'll say about that so as to stop the little tear trying to invade my eye.

But, with the last July 4th trip, we decided to go out with a bang. We planned a trip wrapped up in another trip because we all drove to Dallas to attend a Texas Rangers game. Makes perfect sense. It's never hot in Texas in July. And it's REALLY never hot in Dallas in July. I'm saying in all my born days I've never been hotter than that afternoon walking to the stadium and hauling a baby boy with baby bottles and all the accouterments of baby stuff as well as cheering on 3 little girls having to walk the 45 miles from car to stadium in what had to be the hottest blanking heat in the history of the world. Even now I can remember the heat spots blocking out my vision as we trudged and trudged to the fun night of sitting on the surface of the sun. Solar flares were forming IN THE STANDS as we were watching the tiny little stick people playing baseball from our nose bleed seats. We were so far from the actual field and the actual players it was like we were in another actual universe than them. Oh but it was a grand old time for sure.

And before the game began, when the jets flew over the stadium, my children, each in sheer terror, frantically searched for an escape hatch. At that moment in time, they would've left the venue with a 300 pound hairy, burly stranger if they thought they could have escaped the noise and the "fun." But that was just the fly over. The REAL fun came after the game when we were treated to our own fireworks show from our "thin air" stadium seats. After the 18 hour sweat fest of 1996, our sky high seats finally paid off for the 15 minute fireworks show that was completely unseen by my kids due to the fact they were buried underneath John's legs and mine throughout the duration of the sparkle show. Oh, it was all a memory made in heaven for reals. If only fireworks had silencers it all would have been worth it. And then after the game, and after we left the hospital for rehydration purposes, we arrived safely back in Monroe with little else to do in July. And thank God again for that. But Becky and Keith came for a visit on July 27 and I have no record of them ever leaving; I guess they moved here.

August included a lingerie shower for Leslie Humphrey on the 1st and Lord help me but why do women get all gross at lingerie showers? I don't want to hear about anybody's sex life thank you very much. That discussion has now ended. Moving on.

August 2-10........FLORIDA!! YEAH BABY!! I don't necessarily remember all the ins and outs of this trip but here's what I know. There was surf. There was sand. There was happiness and harmony in the universe. My kids and everyone else's wore adorable bathing suits. There was much dobbing up of "pan lotion" as my kids called it and then much hitting the beach! The kids wanted to spend most of their time at the pool instead of the beach but IXNAY! The beach was where it was happening. I'm certain we built sandcastles and gathered shells and caught little crabs and played in the waves even if some kids were scared of the waves and drank lots of Dr Pepper and ate lots of sugar cookies and had 18,000 gallons of fun. But as with all my beach dreams, it came to an end and then BAM school started August 14 and we were back in the saddle again. Sigh....

Little Emma G and Maggie started kindergarten, cutie pies. And it was back to the grind of cafeteria monitoring, but tennis was over for life! YAY!! BUT I added student of the week to my school chores. UGH! I hated student of the week. Did not enjoy the person I worked with. Hated it all. Why did we need a student of the week? Sad faces eventually go away. But, before we knew it, August came to a close with a Children's Church supper at Melanie's house and then Becky and Keith came back for another visit at Labor Day.

September 5th brought the Pennsylvania grandparents to town and Melanie and BJ headed to Corsicana from the 11th to the 15th. John and I began paying for orthodonture for our children in September of 1996 with Caitlin and Emma going for the first time. And after 14 years of ortho payments.....I'm not even kidding...I just finished paying Owen's off last month. I could have a house in Tuscany for what it cost me to get 4 kids teeth straight. Emma and Owen enjoy the fact that they have the 2 most expensive mouths in the house. It does not amuse me.

And I don't know why, but school was out on September 30 and October 1. I'm just grateful it was. And then on October 4th, PGCA began it's illustrious soccer career with its first game. They won 2-1. It was a really great effort with a co-ed team ranging from high school to 1st grade. It was really competitive. And if you have a hard time spotting sarcasm, then at least recognize it here. Even Austin's love of soccer has never endeared me to the sport. Run, kick, miss, run, kick, miss.....for 100 HOURS! UH UH!

In the month of October some people in the fam obviously had a traveling Jones because Melanie and Randy were continuing their world tour by way of Las Vegas, Dale and Lydia went back to Corsicana and BJ, Melanie and I had another girls trip to Dallas. I guess my fruit pizza was AWESOME because I made another one on October 17 and then absolutely nothing else happened until the month ended with Celebration of Life on October 31st. And although my kids loved it, I'm glad to check that one off my bucket list as well. It's occurring to me I may have been running out of parental steam with still many years ahead of me. Sigh again.....

In November Big Frank and grandma went to Corsicana and Dallas and I honestly can't remember when they traveled alone. But November must have been a another slow month because the next thing I knew, Thanksgiving was here and we celebrated it in Dallas at Becky and Keith's.

And then without fail, it was December and time for Christmas trees and shopping and the hope of a white Christmas.....not! But my family rang the bells for the Salvation Army at Service Merchandise on December 7th. Actually it was a school project so we all rang the bells. It was fun and cold and my kids still remember doing that. Billie June went to Dallas to shop for Christmas......hope I got somethin good....and she arrived home December 17. School let out for the holidays on the 20th .....HELLO that was way too late and then we had a Christmas program out at the Calloway barn on December 22nd where I'm sure someone stepped in a pile of manure before the night was over. Carrie and Becky and Keith got here on Christmas Eve but Christmas day was on a Wednesday that year and that made Christmas short but I know we still had fun!

Whew!! And what a year it was.

I recorded most of the highlights of 1996 but I saved some poignant moments for last. Two people we love graduated to heaven that year. Mickey Humphrey, our very dear friend and pastor died in July and our aunt Mary Catherine Walker in November. And even though I'm sure they're having more fun than we could imagine, it would be lovely to see their smiling faces just one more time.

And one last report. Brooke had her really bad wreck on June 14, 1996 and I'm so happy she DID NOT graduate to heaven but instead is still here to swat little kids as they walk down school halls (just kidding) and is destined to live happily ever after. And that my friends brings 1996 to a close with a smile.

The end.

Thank God.

This is way harder than I thought it would be.