Watch out, the ocean will kick the crap out of you

Before we left for Florida Caitlin, Emma and Olivia quietly made plans to rent a kayak for our week at the beach. They made these plans quietly, convinced I'd try to talk them out of the idea. I don't know why, unless of course it was because the week before our vacation there was a picture of a man in a kayak near Cape Cod and he was being followed by a huge shark! Of course they thought I was ridic since Cape Cod and FLA aren't very close to each other. But! Sharks have relatives all over! And I'm pretty sure they keep in touch. For reals. Anyway, the girls weren't talked out of the idea, and I'm happy to report the communicating sharks didn't eat anyone whilst people in our group kayaked.

Multi people attempted the task of fighting through the waves so as to get to the kayaking waters. Of course we took pictures. Of course there is commentary to go with the pictures. Is anyone out there bored of this yet? Cause I am.

Once more, with feeling.

I love this picture. I love the water splashing and the face of Emma, who I thought was Olivia. Seriously had to be told it was Emma, cause I didn't believe it. I'm still not convinced. But anyway, the most difficult part of kayaking was getting out past the waves. Seriously so hard to do. There were a couple of days when the waves were so rough it couldn't be done.


There was a deep trough of water just off the shore and then a shelf and then the really deep water. It took time and effort to get out there. How pretty is that water!? GOR GEOUS.


It was a commitment.


Once the kayakers got past the waves, the next step was to jump in. I never did that successfully. Shocking, since my abs are AWESOME and my toned body was made for such a thing.


That speck on the horizon is them. I always reminded them the next stop after Florida was Cuber. And that's not good.


This is what happens when you don't point the kayak directly into the wave. And even though the water looks calm in this photo, it was not. On this day, Emma and Olivia tried unsuccessfully to get to the deep water, but after 30 minutes of fighting the undertow to the point of exhaustion, quicker than Jack Flash, the kayak tipped and it was over. I know how fast it happens. It's so fast you can't imagine. It's like a ride at 6 Flags. One second you're up, the next you're not.


A rescue party (from our peeps) went to help them get back in. They were so exhausted .


It amuses me when I see people standing around in water chatting. It's so unnatural. And I'm pretty sure that dude at the back left isn't one of us. Personal space man! We have it....even in the ocean.


I think this is Maggie and Olivia. Some of the creatures seen while kayaking, a sea turtle, a stingray, a Marlin by Melanie (not that she was exaggerating or anything.) I saw nothing. Hrmmph.


Then Bill and Lindsey decided to take the plunge as Bill deemed it a, "marriage building exercise." Let's see what happened. On a side note, I'm glad to see another person younger and skinnier than me took my same approach. Which was, get in where it's shallow and make the other person guide you through the surf. Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn't.


They're both in but there are more waves coming.


Lindsey thinks they're gonna make it. Looks cocky to me.


Still celebrating but look out, cause there's another wave.


Waves are not friends to the people. But they made it!


Out and back with no tumping....bummer.


And still married....


And she was all sassy and like....


This is me and Emma. That's as close as you're getting. I made sure of that. Also when sitting in the back as I did, it's easy to get distracted by looking for stuff and not so much helping with the paddling.

Look at the peeps in the foreground spectating. I think all kayak spectators are hoping for at least one "safe" tumping. OK, maybe it's just me.......AND CARLIE!!

Now here's my personal story. I really wanted to kayak so one day, late in the afternoon, I made my first attempt. The waves were super rough, so I got in near the shore and Jared was gonna guide the kayak out to the deep water. Well, what had happened was, as we were making our way out to the deep water, a wave came. In an instant, tumping commenced, quickly. Because when a wave comes at juuussttt the right angle....KABLAM! Tump. And so I tumped. The world turned "upside down" really very fast. So, what had happened was, we tried one more time with the same result. Got back in the kayak, and was ALMOST there. But, there was this one last wave that looked like that wave in the movie, The Perfect Storm. On that last wave, I went straight up, just like the boat in the movie, and once again, it was O VER. Tumped, kayak hit me in the head, paddle hit me in the teeth. Score? Ocean-2. Lisa-0. I retreated to lick my wounds, and just as I was almost to shore, a wave came up behind me and kicked the crap out of me. Just because it could. Stupid wave. So, on another day, with "pool like conditions," Emma and I gave it a whirl and we had a lovely little experience. With no tumping. And now, kayaking can be marked off my bucket list.

SO relieved about it.

This is Mollie and Emma. having a go.


Looks like it was a successful session of kayaking.


And so, that's the story of kayaking and the remembrance of getting the crap kicked out of me.

Pool like conditions, that's where it's at.

The end.