Thieves Suck

Well tonight I'm extremely frustrated and pissed. How do people get to the place where they think anything is theirs for the taking? How do you just decide to go break into someone's home and take what you want? I'm ready to crack some heads.

Dale and Lydia arrived in Corsicana this evening to find that the house and little room had been broken into. They busted a window and broke the glass in the back door. It makes me so mad.

So far the stolen items include:
2 TVs
1 microwave
1 stereo system
lots of tools
1 air conditioner that was broken....our trick on them
1 coffeemaker
1 maul and ax
THEY TOOK OUR FREAKING SILVERWARE!!!!
THEY TOOK THE FRICKING CHICKENS!!!!!!
AND THEY TOOK OUR TOILET PAPER!!!
Maybe they took the tp so in case the police caught them and they **** themselves they would have some?

I don't know but it's absurd.

I mean....they took the chickens and now the poor little chickens have been relocated against their will. If anyone sees 4 chickens in a Ford Taurus, call the police. They're hostage chickens! I just hope they weren't supper last night.

And now I'm posting the following excerpts from emails that flew after the stealing was discovered. I've decided that I'll not name some of the participants so as not to have my head clunked together with someone else's. But.....people....you just can't make some of this stuff up.

Melanie: Well peeps it's happened grans house was broken into and they took EVERYTHING tvs microwave coffeepot our SILVERWARE all the tools they left the acs and beds WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE GONNA DO???????? Oh yeah they broke the glass in porch door and window over the stove

Lindsey:Well don't ask Lisa for ideas. She has no good ones.

Lisa:Whatever Lindsey.

Lindsey:You know its true!!

Carrie:Are they calling the police?

Lindsey:Police came and went. Basically nothing they can do.

Lisa:The policed have been there. We are on out own (I left in all my typos. The only explanation I have is that I wasn't wearing my glasses.)

Anonymous person:(you know who you are):But they took silverware then it sounds like they didn't have a truck. My detective self figures.

(This is an editor's note: That's one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life.)

Lisa: Ummm I'm gonna need some explanation about that

Anonymous person: I MEAN that they couldn't fit chairs in a CAR obviously..... They didn't have room to steal chairs if they took everything else tvs fit in a car but unless I am there to fit them in my size car they didn't have a vehicle big enough to take chairs!!!!!!!!! Explained enough????

Lisa:No because silverware fits anywhere

Lindsey:Lydia now that stealing is in the air I may steal your perfectly shaped punkins at gmas!!!

Caitlin:Olivia is adamant that they are illegal immigrants!!! It's cracking me up. First she thought that since they took the silverware it could only be illegal immigrants but then when I just told her about the TP she said well that just confirms it. Who else would do that.

Carlie:Olivia, I totally agree. Its like robbery 101....if there is toilet paper, ALWAYS take it. Always take the **** tickets.

Editor's note, after it was discovered that the chickens had been stolen, the following email was sent:

Carrie:So they live somewhere in the country so they can have fresh eggs!!

Maggie:Or fresh chicken...

Carrie:So they either had an interesting ride home with a car full of chickens or they came prepared!!!

Lindsey:Carrie what's the appropriate chicken stealing car?

Lisa:Ha ha ha ha Lindsey. And yes Carrie I'm waiting to hear this.

Carrie:Well if they didn't have a cage to put them in they was just a flyin!!!!!!!

Lisa:We need to know the car choice though. You haven't answered that. I'm thinking a ford Taurus.

Carrie:well what ever car is big enough for me to bend over so yal can kiss my wide lily white...............think about it people!!!!!!!!! they came prepared to steal the fowl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carlie:Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaah "They came prepared to steal the fowl!!!!" One of the best sentences ever typed. Hahahaha

Melanie:I am never shoeless in corsicana

Carrie:That's very wise

So then Becky emailed asking for an updated list of the things taken. Note the fowl reference which is so freaking hilarious I can barely stand it.
Becky:So what is missing?
TVs
Microwaves
Coffeemaker
Tools (like in the living room?)
Silverware
Maul
Ax
Fowl
TP
What about quilts and bedding?

Carrie:Mother said they did not steal the swings and don't know about the lawnmower but they would have to have bolt cutters for that and they probably couldn't fit those in the ford Taurus and would have had to ride the POS mower away and we all know it won't start.I assume you have read all the emails to understand the car reference

Becky:Reference to the Taurus yes got it

Back to the editor....if you don't know what POS stands for, figure it out. I'll give you a hint, the mower won't run at all. Even in the state of pist ness I'm in about the stealing of our stuff, I literally have laughed so hard I've cried while putting this post together.