This actually happened today.

Last night, I decided to rock my family's world by cooking red beans and rice today. I have before documented the tragedy that is this meal at my house, BUT, after 9 months of moratorium on it, it was time to put it back in the rotation. So, I hired a bodyguard and cooked the beans. Now to say the least it was a very lazy day here today. Olivia wrote vocabulary words.......or Olivia tried to make me think she wrote vocabulary words.....and Owen and I worked on his schoolwork. And as we did, I looked around the den and saw plenty of opportunities to clean something but I didn't think I was ready to do anything as rash as that. So, I didn't. There may have been and may still be some puffs of dog hair in a corner or two but I knew it wasn't going anywhere, and again, it seemed unnecessary to sweep just yet. And there may have been approximately 3 baskets of clothes in the den that might have needed folding, but again.....rash to fold? I think so. Everybody knows to yell for a towel. Nobody went unclothed today.

And since 4 of the 6 of us had to be different places tonight, after I successfully cooked the beans and rice, I decided at about 4:00 to eat my supper. Now picture this. Messy house.....and I'm being kind.....I've got my pj pants on, a gray tank top, and for some reason when I dried my hair last night I had a square thing going on just on the right side. I did in fact show Caitlin and Olivia this phenomenon this afternoon and both of them did confirm the square hair problem but what you gonna do? Go rewash my hair? Nah. Anyway, again, pj pants, tank top, square hair, sitting on the couch with my bowl of red beans and rice and I promise......God knows I'm telling the truth.....reading my Bible. With the very first bite, I dropped some on my shirt....so this whole scene had the look and feel of white trash for sure. Also, not a stitch of makeup. AT ALL. I LOOKED BAD.

Now Owen and I were the only ones home at the time and he was in the living room and about the time I had another big spoonful IN MY MOUTH, he comes out of the living room and says, "There's someone outside." My heart stopped for a second as he walked outside, but because the person was at the front door, it bought me a moment of time. He left the door open just enough for me to hear a woman speak to him and I knew INSTANTLY it was Bill's very gentile southern mother coming to bring Olivia a graduation present. I said something I shouldn't have.....with my Bible IN MY LAP and jumped off the couch racing to the kitchen with my bowl of beans and rice, then ran to my bedroom to do the quickest change in the history of awkward moments and peeked out the door of my bedroom to see if she had come in yet. As I was still putting on my clothes and trying to smuch my square hair, Owen walked in as I held my breath waiting for her to faint when she saw my messy house. He came in with the gift and no Carroll and I heaved the hugest sigh of relief. She didn't come in. She never even saw me. She didn't see the pj pants, the soiled tank top, the redneck with the square hair on the couch reading her Bible whilst eating a bowl of beans and rice. Yes, God had mercy on my today. It was one of the closest calls in my life. And after some time for reflection about cleaning.........I didn't. There are still small puppies in each of the corners in my den.

I learned nothing today.

BUT, I am however happy to report, after a shower, there is no more square hair. And if you didn't know, it's not easy taking your own picture in the bathroom mirror, which I did last night, because I felt it was extremely important to document the square hair, as seen below. It really is square. Also I was not trying to hide myself, I just couldn't figure out how to photograph my hair and my whole face at the same time. It took quite a bit of maneuvering to make this picture happen. I may not be able to walk and chew gum at the same time either.

And this is my new phone cover that Emma gave me for my birthday. I love it.