The story of the taco salad...it's a terrible story

I started working on more posts and then got distracted by my bank statement and then got MORE distracted by a $13 mistake and now after an hour of John and me trying to find the mistake, my head is exhausted. SO, picture posts must wait. But I did find my mistake.

Except for a quick story, I'm outta here.

I love taco salad. Emma hates taco salad. I broke the news to her on Thursday night that we were having taco salad for supper on Friday night. She was disgusted and stated so vehemently. Whatevs. It didn't deter me from looking forward to my taco salad. She ate something stupid. By Friday night the eater's of taco salad had dwindled to John, Olivia and myself because of prior plans for Caitlin and Owen....and of course Emma's hatred.

So, as I was finishing work yesterday, John began our taco salad from a recipe I've perfected over time. Yum. I had to stop by the store on my way home and when I finally arrived, wonderful progress had been made on supper. He had mixed stuff and cut other stuff, I tossed the mixed stuff and cut stuff and soon, we were eating. But, much to my dismay, with my first bite I noticed it tasted funny. Remember, I have a VERY discerning pallet. I tasted sweet. I was saddened by this turn of events but continued to eat. I asked John if it tasted sweet to him. He said no. Bummer. I squinted my eyes and suspected him of lying.

Shortly, Olivia came in and began eating and after ONE BITE she asked, "OK, does it taste like cinnamon?" I jumped out of my seat in agreement! HELLO!?!? We both looked at John accusingly. What had he done to my glorious taco salad? He said he'd done what he's always done, regular spices, blah blah blah.....a little dark chocolate. Hold it. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!?!? I could insert an expletive, but I shant. He said, "I always put chocolate in it." Not in MY recipe you don't!!!

Pause the story for added emphasis: In recent months anytime John's made our taco salad, it's tasted funny. I secretly told Olivia many weeks ago, "You do the spices and not Dad because he doesn't do it as good, but I don't want to hurt his feelings...OR piss him off so as to make him stop starting supper before I get home." (He gets home every day before I do.)

Now back to my tale of taco salad woe. I said gently and calmly, "What the crap are you doing putting freaking chocolate in my freaking taco salad?!?! I'm a fat southern country girl from Louisiana!!!! Stop putting stupid stuff in my food!!!! I don't need no stupid chocolate in my dad gum taco salad!!!! Leave my food alone!!!!!" He looked a bit stunned. I don't care. It's ridiculous. Stupid stuff doesn't belong in regular food!! I don't mix sweet and savory. I parse all foods in the sweet/savory categories. I don't buy into the theory that chocolate adds to the flavor of chili and crap like that. I also don't believe as the Barefoot Contessa does that coffee enhances the flavor of chocolate. No it doesn't. It messes it up. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

I don't care what anyone else's opinion is on this subject. I don't care if you think chocolate in chili is a brilliant idea. I DO NOT. You can disagree with me, but you are wrong.

I'm a meat and potatoes gal. If you doubt me, check me out in a photo. It'll become clear real quick like.

Don't screw with my food.

Don't do it.

Randomly last night I would blurt out, "You put freaking chocolate in the taco salad.

Don't do it!!!!"

I'm no longer angry, but sometimes I relive it. I shall never forget.

I have another John food story but I'm sick of the computer so it'll have to wait.

bu bye