This just happened

And it's all John's fault. On Saturday I bought a box mix of cinnamon streusel muffins. Little did I know what it would lead to. 

This morning I thought I'd make the muffins, so I got my bowl, mixed it up...had to get the muffin pan. The pan was at the very top of the cabinet. So lazy is what got me.

I decided to try to retrieve the muffin pan by using my broom handle to skewer a muffin hole to pull it out and grab it before it hit me in the face. It was a good plan in theory. I went to grab my broom and felt something weird on the handle. Then I moved my hand. Then I looked down and saw a lizard SITTING ON MY CHEST. ON MY CHEST PEOPLE!!!!! We could have kissed it was so close to my face!!!!!

To say I screamed isn't even close to describing how bad I screamed. Not one scream, not two screams. Three were needed and necessary. The lizard, clearly ears still ringing, jumped off of me and onto the floor. It must have been the equivalent of jumping off the Empire State building.  

He was then on the floor breathing heavy. My lizard catching go to is always a clear plastic container with a lid. But why should I have to have a lizard catching go to anyway?! That's John's fault!!  

Then the race was on...me screaming, him running. Screaming, running, screaming, running...

He seems to be saying, "Let me be freeeeeee!" 

So I did, even though I know he's somewhere outside trying to get back in. 

The last lizard was found in the house by me and caught by John on September 17th. 

Today is October 20th.

Why lizards why?!?!?!? 

Some things about some things

I can't seem to get consistent with blogging these days. It's very hit or miss. so I'm gonna attempt to catch up.

Emma has now moved and we're adjusting. 

The first 9 weeks of school is completed. I can't believe it. 

Thanksgiving is so close and Christmas is even closer....wait...that's not right.

Lets move on... 

Found a lizard in my laundry basket. I screamed so loud the neighbors probably heard me. And while I don't hate lizards, I don't want them in my house. This picture represents why I don't want to pick them up, it's because they never appreciate a rescue. 

Got this little gem on a Friday night run to Target. 

I've been going through things in boxes lately and found this. I showed it to Olivia and she said, "Is that a chicken butt?" I did not hang it after that statement. 

Three year olds who play soccer get very hot in the Louisiana sun. 

This is Addy at the vet trying to hide underneath me.

One of these is more delicious than the other.

Movie night with James!

I want this barn desperately. 

Current cabinet door progress...four more to sand and paint and then onto making a new fireplace mantle. It's taken way longer than my patience runs. 

We had bacon bagel sandwiches a few weeks ago and the bacon was cooked outside. Later that evening Milo the cat enjoyed a walk through the pan. So gross. 

Pre-move to Washington cleaning out of Emma's closet. It was something else to behold. 

This is what pitiful looks like when deciding to keep or throw. 

This picture speaks one thousand words to me. It's so bittersweet. A little boy learning to play soccer but needing encouragement from his Daddy. He wants to go and give soccer a try, but he needs his hand on Dad, but he can't always take him with him. But soccer is fun. But he's a little afraid. Growing up is hard and it never changes. It's the equivalent of moving to Washington DC for twenty four year olds. Or 56 year olds. 

James found a stranger's chair quite comfy. 

It seemed it would never cool off in Louisiana, as evidenced by this sweaty soccer player. 

James needed a little snuggle during the game. 

I decided to redo my fireplace brick, so this is the before. The broom is not stored there. Lots of things have been out of place in our house for many months.  

I wanted mine to look like this.

So I began the process. 

There's really no way to "test" this on a piece of brick. You have to be all in. 

Because when I see pictures like this, I love it lots.

To be very honest, I don't think mine looks like the picture. But there's no going back.

Then a couple Sundays ago, Olivia and I had to do nursery.

Then the girls and I went shopping for DC clothes and shoes and I found another great hat choice for me.

And for Olivia as well. I looked in my rear view and saw this and nearly swallowed my goozle. Whose kid is this? Hmmmm....

Then I continued to work on the fireplace redo.

I worked on it over a span of 4 to 5 days. 

Finished product. Some times I look at it and think, "So I like it?" I think I like it.  

And Lucas provided a new meme or Gif or something. Either way, it and he is adorable. 

Since I began this a week ago, the cabinet doors are finished!

I'm so happy with the result. 

Call John cabinet door maker, he will answer.

I'm so tired I'm going to bed. A new development in my life....I'm a morning person now! The problem is, I'm also still a night person. So I'm way sleepy. 

I'll explain the morning person thing another day.

Sleep tight.

There are three families grieving lost pups tonight.

God give them peace and the pups a comfy place to stay. 

God bless us all, people and animals. 

Amen.

Life is speeding up

John and I are counting down the days until this daughter moves away.

When I think about how many miles away she'll be, this is the picture I have in my head.

But of course she's a grown woman. Capable and ready. But we can't imagine not having her near. But of course she has to go. This is the battle raging in our hearts. 

John and I are in a never ending cycle of letting go. That will never end I think, and it's the hardest thing we've faced as parents. Emma will always be our second born daughter, but never second best. No favorites here. Loving each of them with our whole hearts has been easy for us. Watching them leave is not. 

I could list Emma's resume here because I'm her biggest fan, but I will just tell this story instead. When she was in college she came home one day and told me she was quitting her campus office job to work for the ULM newspaper. I was nervous about the change, but she was determined (shocker). Not to my surprise she eventually became editor of the paper. They wrote serious stories about campus life and the administration wasn't always happy about it, but she stood her ground against them. 

Without a doubt her decision to work for that paper led to her getting this new job. But even knowing that opportunities like this don't come along very often, it's still hard for this to happen. 

Each morning I wake up, it's the first thing I think about. Reconciling this in my heart is the battle, but I know she has to do this. In the last two weeks we've talked a lot, speculated tons, dreamed a little, but made no concrete plans. Not knowing where she will live or how far work will be and how will she get groceries home without a car....my mind has raced from worry to worry. But it's clear this is her next step. And the sky's the limit.

So as the days of our kids living in the same town dwindle down to a precious few, John and I know what our hearts are feeling. But I'm afraid this is the new normal for us, because there's more leaving coming soon.

But for now, for today, I have to remember the girl leaving isn't this little piggy tailed cutie.     

She's a grown woman making good decisions who's about to take a big step and a huge bite out of life.

And a pretty big bite out of our hearts as well.

My photos are my journal

The days and weeks are flying by and I never have enough time in the day to get everything done I need to do. Of course that statement is absurd, because of course I have plenty of time. I just find many ways to piddle it away. Bits of time wasted here or there. What's worse is I don't feel bad about it. But here I am making the effort to post something before the end of this day. (I started this three days ago.)

What's been happening, John and I have been continuing to make cabinet doors and paint them....him making, me painting. Our first set is complete and hung. 

John's first foray into cabinet door making. I'd say it was a great first effort. 

Here's how the door making went....and this is in no way disparaging him. He measured and thought and read some stuff and then measured and thought and pondered some more and then calculated and thought some more. Watched some videos....and two weeks later we had two of eight doors completed. And while I would NEVER attempt making a door, and while I'm not making fun, I don't have the patience to wait 16 weeks to complete 8 doors. 

Since I started this post, I'm happy to report the second set of doors is painted and will be hung by Wednesday or Thursday. I'll report back when it happens.  

In the meantime I'm continuing the photo purge and it DOES take so much time I just can't tell you. I started in my very first photo album and have set my eyes on every photo I've ever taken or been given to see if it's album worthy. Sadly so many are not. It's made me think the ONLY reason to go back in time to re-live my life or re-raise my kids would be if I  could do it with a digital camera in hand to document it all. I'd save thousands of dollars in film developing and have better pictures all day long. It grieves me more than it should.

The whole photo purging has been much more of an emotional process than I ever dreamed it would be. Some good, some not so good. One such group of pics contains horses from many years past. If there's a horse in the picture, my absolute first thought is, "Well that horse is dead." I don't know whhhhyyyyy!!! 

There's been much to remember and appreciate, and so many faces I miss. 

For almost 46 years I had the privilege of calling him Gran. I enjoyed his company more than I could ever express. Fun, funny, joyful, and just plain wonderful. That's who he was to me.

For 40 years I walked around the corner to find her sitting there in her spot. Right where she belonged. Call her excellent cook, garden tender, wonderful seamstress. All self taught. She worked hard all her life. She was one of a kind. 

My sweet Aunt Mollie. Soft spoken, never talked bad about anyone. She was one of a kind as well. The oldest of her siblings, she lived through many tragedies and maintained her faith in God and family. She was a gem for sure. I'm proud to be her namesake. 

My aunt Nina...notice I didn't call her sweet! Salty would be more her adjective. I'd say I was more like her than my namesake. She was fiercely loyal and when charged with making supper one time when she was young, cooked a huge pot of potatoes. And that was supper. She was sassy and special and wonderful. Mollie and Nina passed away before Emma, Olivia and Owen were born. If only...

Then I found gems like these. When looking at this photo someone else might think it a throw away pic, but not me. 

This is my whole family. With four children on the ground the pregnancy phase of my life was over. We were all in the bathroom together because the three older were so excited to have a baby brother. I can't say it's always been that way...but when I see the four of them interact with each other, I know all the pregnancies and hard work was worth it. They will always have each other to rely on. When I saw this picture last week I realized it represents my life's work. 

Everyone got a turn to hold their baby brother.

I could eat up the sweetness here.

Totally worth it all.

The first time my grandmother saw her last great grandchild. 

My pictures are like a journal of the past. I've tried journaling with words and after rereading what I'd written, I couldn't stand myself. It was awful. But my photos of taking Owen to see Bessie for the first time, and seeing that moment....

It's better than words. 

An update about where I've been and what I've been doing

Two weeks ago I began working on a post, then decided to scan a picture to add to the post. That's when I discovered my computer wouldn't recognize my scanner and therefore I was stuck. It took daaaayyyyss and multi searches online to try to figure out why....even when directly connected...the two devices would not talk to each other. I became enraged. That can happen when electronic things act like jerks. Thank goodness I stopped short of throwing them through a window. Finally, and I don't even remember how, John and I worked out the problems. It doesn't need to be this hard people!! 

In the meantime of trying to work out those issues, John and I made the decision to make new cabinet doors for our bookcase. John's cabinetry work is a process, since this is his first attempt at it. I'm happy to report we have two finished, only six more to go. There will be pictures forthcoming. And while he was working on that, I decided to do something I've wanted to do for many years. I began the process of going through each and every photo album I own to take out ripped pages as well as really really bad photos. There have been tons of both so far. After one week, I'm sorry to say I'm not even halfway through the books. It's very long and tedious. BUT. I'm in it to win it now, there's no going back. And that's why I haven't blogged, even though I said I was going to be blogging more often. 

This is one of two posts today. 

This one is the explanation of where I've been.

The next one is the one I wanted to post two weeks ago. 

So scroll for two, cause there are....