Life is speeding up

John and I are counting down the days until this daughter moves away.

When I think about how many miles away she'll be, this is the picture I have in my head.

But of course she's a grown woman. Capable and ready. But we can't imagine not having her near. But of course she has to go. This is the battle raging in our hearts. 

John and I are in a never ending cycle of letting go. That will never end I think, and it's the hardest thing we've faced as parents. Emma will always be our second born daughter, but never second best. No favorites here. Loving each of them with our whole hearts has been easy for us. Watching them leave is not. 

I could list Emma's resume here because I'm her biggest fan, but I will just tell this story instead. When she was in college she came home one day and told me she was quitting her campus office job to work for the ULM newspaper. I was nervous about the change, but she was determined (shocker). Not to my surprise she eventually became editor of the paper. They wrote serious stories about campus life and the administration wasn't always happy about it, but she stood her ground against them. 

Without a doubt her decision to work for that paper led to her getting this new job. But even knowing that opportunities like this don't come along very often, it's still hard for this to happen. 

Each morning I wake up, it's the first thing I think about. Reconciling this in my heart is the battle, but I know she has to do this. In the last two weeks we've talked a lot, speculated tons, dreamed a little, but made no concrete plans. Not knowing where she will live or how far work will be and how will she get groceries home without a car....my mind has raced from worry to worry. But it's clear this is her next step. And the sky's the limit.

So as the days of our kids living in the same town dwindle down to a precious few, John and I know what our hearts are feeling. But I'm afraid this is the new normal for us, because there's more leaving coming soon.

But for now, for today, I have to remember the girl leaving isn't this little piggy tailed cutie.     

She's a grown woman making good decisions who's about to take a big step and a huge bite out of life.

And a pretty big bite out of our hearts as well.