My photos are my journal

The days and weeks are flying by and I never have enough time in the day to get everything done I need to do. Of course that statement is absurd, because of course I have plenty of time. I just find many ways to piddle it away. Bits of time wasted here or there. What's worse is I don't feel bad about it. But here I am making the effort to post something before the end of this day. (I started this three days ago.)

What's been happening, John and I have been continuing to make cabinet doors and paint them....him making, me painting. Our first set is complete and hung. 

John's first foray into cabinet door making. I'd say it was a great first effort. 

Here's how the door making went....and this is in no way disparaging him. He measured and thought and read some stuff and then measured and thought and pondered some more and then calculated and thought some more. Watched some videos....and two weeks later we had two of eight doors completed. And while I would NEVER attempt making a door, and while I'm not making fun, I don't have the patience to wait 16 weeks to complete 8 doors. 

Since I started this post, I'm happy to report the second set of doors is painted and will be hung by Wednesday or Thursday. I'll report back when it happens.  

In the meantime I'm continuing the photo purge and it DOES take so much time I just can't tell you. I started in my very first photo album and have set my eyes on every photo I've ever taken or been given to see if it's album worthy. Sadly so many are not. It's made me think the ONLY reason to go back in time to re-live my life or re-raise my kids would be if I  could do it with a digital camera in hand to document it all. I'd save thousands of dollars in film developing and have better pictures all day long. It grieves me more than it should.

The whole photo purging has been much more of an emotional process than I ever dreamed it would be. Some good, some not so good. One such group of pics contains horses from many years past. If there's a horse in the picture, my absolute first thought is, "Well that horse is dead." I don't know whhhhyyyyy!!! 

There's been much to remember and appreciate, and so many faces I miss. 

For almost 46 years I had the privilege of calling him Gran. I enjoyed his company more than I could ever express. Fun, funny, joyful, and just plain wonderful. That's who he was to me.

For 40 years I walked around the corner to find her sitting there in her spot. Right where she belonged. Call her excellent cook, garden tender, wonderful seamstress. All self taught. She worked hard all her life. She was one of a kind. 

My sweet Aunt Mollie. Soft spoken, never talked bad about anyone. She was one of a kind as well. The oldest of her siblings, she lived through many tragedies and maintained her faith in God and family. She was a gem for sure. I'm proud to be her namesake. 

My aunt Nina...notice I didn't call her sweet! Salty would be more her adjective. I'd say I was more like her than my namesake. She was fiercely loyal and when charged with making supper one time when she was young, cooked a huge pot of potatoes. And that was supper. She was sassy and special and wonderful. Mollie and Nina passed away before Emma, Olivia and Owen were born. If only...

Then I found gems like these. When looking at this photo someone else might think it a throw away pic, but not me. 

This is my whole family. With four children on the ground the pregnancy phase of my life was over. We were all in the bathroom together because the three older were so excited to have a baby brother. I can't say it's always been that way...but when I see the four of them interact with each other, I know all the pregnancies and hard work was worth it. They will always have each other to rely on. When I saw this picture last week I realized it represents my life's work. 

Everyone got a turn to hold their baby brother.

I could eat up the sweetness here.

Totally worth it all.

The first time my grandmother saw her last great grandchild. 

My pictures are like a journal of the past. I've tried journaling with words and after rereading what I'd written, I couldn't stand myself. It was awful. But my photos of taking Owen to see Bessie for the first time, and seeing that moment....

It's better than words.