Well this was an interesting day. Owen and I worked on his schoolwork A LOT today and we fought over multi things. I even grabbed his pencil and threw it down the hall and after we both cooled off, we went back at it, the schoolwork that is. It’s clear to see that home school is more challenging than I thought it would be. There are 9000 distractions here and my kids are looking for every single one of them. So I’m not sad to see this school day end and tomorrow will be another chance to do it better.
We had a crazy rainstorm this evening that knocked out power at our house for almost four hours. It was hot and frustrating and it looked like our street was the only one without lights. And since I’ve been remiss in making sure we had enough candles for such emergencies, it was like a freaking bat cave in here. After taking a shower by flashlight, which I would never recommend, Emma, Olivia and I went for a short ride so I could cool off with car air since it was sweating hot in the house. It was a brilliant idea and did the job but I was faced with my own righteous indignation that every single person in town had lights except for half of our street. Anyway as we were rounding the corner to come home, we were all delighted to see the lights were back on but as we turned into our driveway, our house was pitch black. Not one light on anywhere. How could it be possible that our house would be the only house in town with power not restored? We walked in to find Owen huddled over the computer with the last bit of surviving battery and we started turning on lights. He was clueless and amazed. It seems when the lights went off earlier, the kids had turned off every light in the house so when they finally came back on there was no "test" light to let anyone know we had electricity again. And so John unnecessarily showered by flashlight as well and somehow he decided it was Owen’s responsibility to know when the lights had come back on. The girls and I were very amused. And so goes the day. The lights are working and the air condition is running. And I hear the faint sound of.........ahhhhhhhhh.
On another note, John and I have some very difficult decisions to make. We have prayed and wondered and waited and…..I could go on but there’s no need. And so we wait some more. As much as I don’t want to be a failure, I have to face the fact that I have failed many times and I wish I could change past decisions but it’s impossible. And again I ask forgiveness for mistakes and wonder where we’ll be next week, let alone next year. I don’t want broken hearts and I hope I don’t have to live with any but we’ll see as the rest of this year continues. I’m finding that the more I wonder about things, the more questions I have. So, I’ll sit and wait and hope that I feel God near me no matter what happens and believe for the best, even if my faith is weak and small and the giants are looming large in the near distance. Sigh……. I want my family to be together and happy and safe. How did we get to this place? And yet I believe we tried to do the right thing even when we were struggling.
On a happier thought, Caleb Hathorn is engaged and he is one of my favs. He has such a way of delivering a phrase that just cracks me up and since I love to laugh, he instantly became a favorite. He is truly one of the funny people. And so kids that I knew when they were babies…..I could pick them up in my arms…..are now grown up enough to get married. I think that means I’m getting old but I in fact thought earlier today that if I had to choose between wisdom and youth, I would have to take wisdom every time. I know I could do a better job raising my kids with all I have learned in my fifty years but as everyone knows, it just doesn’t work that way. So I will live with the mistakes I have made and remember I asked my kids and God to forgive me for the things I did wrong and believe the hurts I caused will be filled up by God’s unfailing love. I have found 121 Scriptures about His unfailing love.
With tomorrow comes the hope of a new day and another chance.
My fifty years have been pretty wonderful.
Psalm 37:3-4
3Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart's desires.
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It dawned on me as I was reading this post from 2009 that I was in college then and now I have graduated. My how time flies...
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