Becoming fearless

Broke a promise already…….because I wrote nothing yesterday. I did write the date down as I said I would but I did it just a minute ago so I even cheated on that. I’ll try not to do it again. It rained pretty much all day and ULM's first home game was yesterday, don’t know why I added that except for the fact that it’s possible I wrote nothing yesterday because there was nothing to write about. It’s as good an excuse as any. Our second to last meal before fasting was fried chicken….yum. Slept very little last night and prayer was hard for me. But church was as good as it’s ever been. There were so many things to love. The worship was great; the preaching was great, by Jamal and Dale. God touched my life again but it was different this time. I am grateful for His patience with me and His love for me. I made some ground today in my quest to feel peace and feel God’s love and yet all I did was receive because I didn’t DO ANYTHING but show up. I’m learning more and more that giving God access is as big a deal as anything. So church was good and great and wonderful….all of the good adjectives and I’m glad I was there to be a part of it.

I know I will follow God no matter the cost but I want the cost to not scare me. Or I want not knowing what the cost will be to not scare me. And I know that I am closer to that goal than I was last night. I choose to follow and I want to feel Jesus closer than my own skin all the time. I know He is with me and I know He loves me but I want to feel that all the time and I refuse to accept less than that.

I want to be fearless…..not because I’m never afraid….but because I trust God with all my heart. And now I am going to bed and hope to do a better job tomorrow.

But I will quit before I become a total whiner……or even wiener.

Psalm 1:3
They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.