There's always more to learn

Olivia and I just finished watching the King's Speech again. I can't say enough about how brilliant it is and how completely moved I am by the performances each time I see it. I wish I could express how much I'm affected by the circumstances of these men's lives and the friendship they forge with one another. It overwhelms me every time. The performances are so amazing and wonderful, and I understand perfectly what was achieved by the actors playing the parts. And although of course I can't relate at all to being in the king's position, I do understand what it's like to be thrust into circumstances that you don't want to face. I'm stuck in a place I can't change and can't get out of and it's very personal. I'm not sure I'll ever discuss it here or anywhere for that matter, but I only hope I can get to the other side of it some day. I know I've spent more time than I care to admit continually beating myself up over things I've been unable to, and will never be able to change. And with that statement, I find my circumstances to be much like King George the VI. That may seem silly to some, but it's true nonetheless.

In the last three days I've watched two movies that have profoundly affected me and the life I'm living right now. The King's Speech will forever affect me because of the compassion I feel for him as I watch him fight his demons while understanding what was expected of him. It's a terrible business, fighting demons that plague your soul. I've fought them for what seems like forever now. I really can't remember what it was like not fighting them. I hope some day I'll not say that anymore....at least for a time.

In the other movie, it was just a phrase that got my attention. I was half listening to it when I heard the words that made me sit up and take notice which were, "I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what's been given.” Hit me right between the eyes.

And for now, that's all I'll say.....not sure I'll ever say any more than that, because it's very personal and private and until it no longer bothers me or hurts, it will be my secret to keep. And I have no idea how long it will be that way, hope not much longer.

So even though I'll not tell my stuff, this post is meant to help anyone that struggles at life and the process of living it. Gran used to say when talking about kids, "It takes a heap of raising."

For me, I think that phrase will last my lifetime.