For us, sunsets are to be remembered

Somewhere....on the other side of this sunset....somewhere in heaven....there is a host of loved ones I'm missing so much. 

Our whole family has always appreciated a lovely sunset. And no matter where I am in the world, I'm hoping for the loveliest one yet to be seen. 

In the evenings Big Frank could almost always be found on the golf course hitting golf balls and watching the sunset. He must have passed his love for it to all of us, because I think we all watch for them. For years we have shared pictures with each other of the good ones we have seen. 

It's hard to find a good place in town to watch a sunset. But lately I've found myself becoming better acquainted with the countryside near Rayville, and so far I'm loving what I'm seeing.

It feels like the skies are bigger out there.   

It comforts my heart to see a lovely evening sky in the country. 

I'll finish with some thoughts that have been swirling around in my head...

I've pretty much shut down communication with God since Carrie left. And I don't expect he will be explaining himself to me anytime soon. Or ever. But there is too much I don't understand. And yet I don't really want explanations from him. I just want to know all is well, even though it's not. 

The other day I realized that the Carrie I'm missing is the Carrie who lived here on earth. The one who was sick and unable to stay with us. The heavenly Carrie is someone I don't even know. But I bet she still watches the sunsets. Only now she has the most perfect view. And no worries.

I cancelled her cell phone service yesterday, a number she'd had for at least twenty five years. It might seem to some to be no big deal, except that it was. That simple act made me remember there is so much more work to do going forward. I have to find a way to trust God with my brokenness, because only he can fix this shattered mess of a heart that is mine right now. 

Then this scripture came to my mind. Wonder who put it there...

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are never destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

The pressing on all sides in the last days and weeks has been intense. And it FEELS like I've been abandoned, struck down and crushed. 

But then this one has come to my mind as well. Someone is trying to help me...

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. Revelation 21:4

Maybe what we will be left with after all the mess of life will be Jesus and sunsets.

Love you forever and always Carrie.