Goat is what she was

Every room in my house has a gift from my Mom. They are everywhere because she was so good at it. Good at giving. She would give and give until she had nothing left to offer. I saw her do it all of my life. 

I remember when I was a young girl, a coworkers' daughter died. I remember she went and bought a dress for the child to be buried in. I've never forgotten it. It's who she was. A giver through and through.  

She was also generous with her love, and her time, as long as it wasn't during Dancing With the Stars. That show will have one less viewer next time. One who kept scores written down and took the whole show very serious. To call Billie during the show was not appreciated. Believe me, because I did it. Her very coarse, "Hello...." meant what do you want? And I knew to end the convo very quickly. 

We all have so many things she has given us, but John has something no one else in the family has. 

Here's why.

A few years ago my family was going to some event and we were taking Mom with us. I have no remembrance of where or what we were going to. But at the last minute, as Billie was want to do sometimes, she bowed out and decided to stay home. Well as we were leaving our house I told John, "Mom's not going after all." His response was, "Why not? The old goat." 

Of course on my next visit to see her I told Mom what John said about his mother-in-law. Well, she laughed OUTLOUd and thought it was the funniest thing. So when the next Christmas rolled around, guess what she gave John.....

She indeed gave him a goat, real...somewhere in the world....if he's still alive...and then a representation of him in our house. Forever sitting on a shelf in our den as a reminder of what a good sport she was.  

That's the kind of sense of humor Billie June Etheredge Walker had. It was as good of one as I've ever seen. You could tell her anything and make her laugh, even if it was at her expense. Of course John was kidding when he called her an old goat. Most likely it was because he was disappointed she wasn't going with us. If only John had known of the expression "greatest of all time." He could have used that as cover. 

All of this was prompted by my cleaning today, and as I was dusting in my room, I found this....

Then I found this....

This little box, always sitting on my dresser, she gave me when I was a teenager. 

She knew how much I loved this vase that she had once given to her mother-in-law. So she gave it to me. 

One of the last gifts she gave me was this little blue bird of happiness. 

We could all use some happiness right about now. 

I know it wasn't the things she gave me that mattered. Although I consider them valuable treasures, now more than ever. But she was a giver and loved to give people something as a token of her love. She thought about the gifts she wanted to give us. She pondered and poured over catalogs looking for the perfect thing for each of us. It was her thing to do for us at Christmas.

Christmas was hers to shower her family with gifts. She loved doing it and we loved Christmas morning because of her. And the older she got, the more I fretted over how many more Christmases we would have with her. Not because of the gifts, but because of her. I never wanted it to end. I certainly thought Christmas 2017 with her was a done deal. 

Until it wasn't. 

But there was never going to be enough with her. Enough OF her. Never enough birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases. I was always going to want more. 

I was never going to be ready for one without her. I never wanted to be without her.

So now here I sit, staring at my blue bird of happiness, and missing the old goat like crazy.  

She really was the greatest of all time.

John told her that in his own special way. Albeit by accident.

Love you forever and always Mom