Owen's fishy weekend

The revelation of Owen's weekend home alone evolved over a 24 hour period. I took notes about all that we discovered so as not to forget anything. 

Here's what may have occurred. 

I think.....

As we were riding home from Dallas last Sunday, we were still about an hour away when I got a phone call from Owen. He said he'd just gotten home from work to find that Rosie had an accident in the den, and he'd just cleaned it up. He was calling to tell me he was going to mop the floor and was asking what cleaner to add to the water. Hmmm I thought. When we got home, he had in fact mopped MOST of the den and some of the kitchen. Evidence removal maybe? I don't know.... 

We unloaded the car and busied ourselves around the house unpacking. Then I sat down to look at my emails and that's when I noticed the couch was moved to almost right up against the table it's by. So I called for Owen and asked, "Why did you move the couch?" And he said, "I didn't." Me, "You didn't move the couch? It just moved by itself? Cause the couch has been moved." Him, "Oh wait, it probably moved when I jumped on it." Me, "You jumped up and down on the couch like a little boy?" (Thinking to myself, you just left a couch jumping little boy home alone all weekend.) His response, "No (all exasperated with me for not understanding) sometimes when I come into the room I run and jump on the couch. So it probably moved when I did that." Hmmm.... Makes. So. Much. Sense. 

I forgot to mention that when we first walked into the house I noticed the kitchen table was completely empty. Which is a dream of mine by the way. No clutter at all. So after the couch discussion I decided to address the bare table. "So why is the table cleared?" Him, "I don't know." (Hmmmm that's not the right answer.) Me, "So you don't know how the table got cleared because it wasn't cleared when we left. And also, why has the table been moved? Did you just decide to have a furniture moving party when we exited the city limits?" THEN he remembered, "Ohhhh....me and Tosten (his friend who came over while we were gone) played ping pong on it." (Something smells so much like fish.) Me, "Really? You cleared the table......AND moved it.....and you couldn't remember why it was cleared or moved when I first asked 30 seconds ago?!" (There's a halibut stinking somewhere.) A blank stare was his response and then a reference to a wild party. Also FYI my table they played ping pong on is right beside my china cabinet that has a glass front. When I brought this to his attention, he was unapologetic.

I need to say before I go any further that the very first time we left him home alone (within the last year) he actually had a dinner party with actual work friends. And I'm not even kidding. He's 18. I'm still making plans to have my first dinner party....

Anyway, those were the immediate revelations until bedtime when I went to lock the back door and discovered the key we keep on the mantle for just that purpose, was missing. By then all were in bed asleep so I looked and looked but to no avail. I went to bed annoyed and wondering. The next morning more searching for the missing key was futile, but my annoyance had increased. Also at some point before he got home I noticed one of my rubbermaid bowls was in the middle of the backyard and once again I thought.....hmmmm. That same morning Caitlin found something blue and dusty on the living room floor. When she mentioned it in front of Olivia, Olivia said, "Oh yeah that was me. I dropped some paint stuff on the floor." SO, apparently we are now paint droppers who don't clean up spills. We are a stye. We live in a stye. Well, when the boy got home from school I asked him about the key and guess what? He had no idea where or how or when it went missing. Shocker. And the plastic bowl in the yard? No idea. I'm sensing a pattern. Look unknowing until you remember....or can come up with a semi logical answer. But just to clarify plastic bowls don't have working feet.

Another discovery by Olivia was that three bags of chips had been eaten by two teenage boys. That's the only weekend activity that makes sense.  

So later in the week when Owen was gone with Tosten, he called me and I asked Owen to put me on speaker and I said to Tosten, "I'll give you 50 dollars if you'll tell me everything Owen did over the weekend." And he said, "I don't care about money." (dagnabit) And then he admitted only to playing ping pong on the table. And I said, "Right next to my china cabinet with the glass door!?" And his defense was to say the china cabinet proved useful for banking shots.  

Then a couple of days ago Owen pulled his OWN KEYS out of his pocket and saw that the missing backdoor key was on his chain. And I'm for real. How could he forget that?! The fishy smell was all up in my nose by then.

So let's sum up:
The table was cleared
The table was moved
The couch was moved
The chips were eaten 
The back door key was gone 
The plastic bowl was in the backyard
Blue stuff was on the living room floor (courtesy of Olivia)
And I don't think he had a dinner party

Also.....the milk was mysteriously out of date...

Hmmmmm.....

I need a secret camera so I can watch the den when I'm gone. This weekend all the girls will be out of town and only the boys will be home. And I can believe the house needs to be watched even though John will be here. Owen could be entertaining 20 people and John would be sleeping, snoring and 100% clueless. And then I'll come home and ask John, "Why is the couch moved and the table cleared and moved?" And his response will be, "I don't know." 

Crazy has a comfortable home here.