This just happened

And it's all John's fault. On Saturday I bought a box mix of cinnamon streusel muffins. Little did I know what it would lead to. 

This morning I thought I'd make the muffins, so I got my bowl, mixed it up...had to get the muffin pan. The pan was at the very top of the cabinet. So lazy is what got me.

I decided to try to retrieve the muffin pan by using my broom handle to skewer a muffin hole to pull it out and grab it before it hit me in the face. It was a good plan in theory. I went to grab my broom and felt something weird on the handle. Then I moved my hand. Then I looked down and saw a lizard SITTING ON MY CHEST. ON MY CHEST PEOPLE!!!!! We could have kissed it was so close to my face!!!!!

To say I screamed isn't even close to describing how bad I screamed. Not one scream, not two screams. Three were needed and necessary. The lizard, clearly ears still ringing, jumped off of me and onto the floor. It must have been the equivalent of jumping off the Empire State building.  

He was then on the floor breathing heavy. My lizard catching go to is always a clear plastic container with a lid. But why should I have to have a lizard catching go to anyway?! That's John's fault!!  

Then the race was on...me screaming, him running. Screaming, running, screaming, running...

He seems to be saying, "Let me be freeeeeee!" 

So I did, even though I know he's somewhere outside trying to get back in. 

The last lizard was found in the house by me and caught by John on September 17th. 

Today is October 20th.

Why lizards why?!?!?!?