Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Revisiting an Email from the family females
The text has not been changed in any way.
It all began with Lindsey and a discovery.
March 11-13, 2008
From Lindsey
Subject line....carlie
....IS A BIG FAT LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go ahead ask her why I would say that. Defend yourself Carlie. I dare you.
Response from Carlie
Oh my goodness.
I relent. It was a moment of desperation because I really liked those shoes.
I'm quite ashamed.
Lindsey
SHE STOLE MY SHOES AND LIED TO MY FACE ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carlie
IN MY DEFENSE, I thought they were Maggie's! It's cool if I steal from her. Muah!
Mollie
Hahahahahaha. That is hilarious. How did you find out about it?
Lisa
Well I was an eyewitness to the whole thing and let me just say Carlie has no leg to stand on.......or shoes to stand in for that matter.......she in fact left my house bare-footed......because Lindsey took the said stolen shoes with her when she left in a HUGE huff.........so the lamo story Carlie tried to pass off was (she was wearing the evidence) that the pair of black shoes she had on were hers.....and I quote....."I bought them myself!"......to which Lindsey replied loudly, "Those are mine!" Carlie said ......."NO NO NO...they are mine I bought them myself"......(big lie).....at which point Maggie enters the fray and says, "She (the little liar) got them out of my closet!"......now the 3 of them begin talking in a tone that only dogs can hear (VERY high pitch girly voices.....Carlie convulsing in laughter.....seemingly unfazed by the fact that she has now been branded a thief and a liar......lots of scuffling...some punches were thrown)....(not really)....Lindsey ripped the shoes off of the thief's feet....said something about going to the police.......or the potty.....not sure which and left.....it was a very good leave as she walked out indignantly with the truth on her side.....closed the door forcefully and then remembered she forgot her dogs.......it was all very dramatic......I enjoyed it thoroughly.....THE END
Carrie
yes it is too funny that it is cool if its from Maggie.....Lin on the other hand is just pissed.....
Linny Linny Linny,,,,, put Grace and Ellie in theeerrrrrpppeeeeee those poor children... getting left over and over and over again.......
AND Carlie Carlie Carlie......you don't wear the evidence.....then lie....then have your poor innocent baby sister rat you out.......tisk tisk tisk......
And I totally got a visual on the play by play.....like I was there.....saw the whole thing....and even had a visual on the embellishments.......
Lindsey
and carlie said above that in her defense she thought they were maggies um NOOOOOOO. I asked about the shoes at my house on Sunday night and she said they were hers that she bought them at Target and then went home and told my mother and Grandma that she lied to my face. No. She has no defense. Also, i only forgot my dogs for MAYBE a millisecond. I slammed the door and walked right back in. Not too traumatic for them. It was traumatic for me. My sister lied to me. Don't trust anyone. That's my motto.
Melanie
Just now checking my mail and I too had a great visual of the whole thing and laughed out loud reading it. Carlie the "perfect one" has a flaw.
Maggie
Carlie was never perfect.
Not now. Not ever.
Carlie
Psh.
I was and still am the bestest.
It all began with Lindsey and a discovery.
March 11-13, 2008
From Lindsey
Subject line....carlie
....IS A BIG FAT LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go ahead ask her why I would say that. Defend yourself Carlie. I dare you.
Response from Carlie
Oh my goodness.
I relent. It was a moment of desperation because I really liked those shoes.
I'm quite ashamed.
Lindsey
SHE STOLE MY SHOES AND LIED TO MY FACE ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carlie
IN MY DEFENSE, I thought they were Maggie's! It's cool if I steal from her. Muah!
Mollie
Hahahahahaha. That is hilarious. How did you find out about it?
Lisa
Well I was an eyewitness to the whole thing and let me just say Carlie has no leg to stand on.......or shoes to stand in for that matter.......she in fact left my house bare-footed......because Lindsey took the said stolen shoes with her when she left in a HUGE huff.........so the lamo story Carlie tried to pass off was (she was wearing the evidence) that the pair of black shoes she had on were hers.....and I quote....."I bought them myself!"......to which Lindsey replied loudly, "Those are mine!" Carlie said ......."NO NO NO...they are mine I bought them myself"......(big lie).....at which point Maggie enters the fray and says, "She (the little liar) got them out of my closet!"......now the 3 of them begin talking in a tone that only dogs can hear (VERY high pitch girly voices.....Carlie convulsing in laughter.....seemingly unfazed by the fact that she has now been branded a thief and a liar......lots of scuffling...some punches were thrown)....(not really)....Lindsey ripped the shoes off of the thief's feet....said something about going to the police.......or the potty.....not sure which and left.....it was a very good leave as she walked out indignantly with the truth on her side.....closed the door forcefully and then remembered she forgot her dogs.......it was all very dramatic......I enjoyed it thoroughly.....THE END
Carrie
yes it is too funny that it is cool if its from Maggie.....Lin on the other hand is just pissed.....
Linny Linny Linny,,,,, put Grace and Ellie in theeerrrrrpppeeeeee those poor children... getting left over and over and over again.......
AND Carlie Carlie Carlie......you don't wear the evidence.....then lie....then have your poor innocent baby sister rat you out.......tisk tisk tisk......
And I totally got a visual on the play by play.....like I was there.....saw the whole thing....and even had a visual on the embellishments.......
Lindsey
and carlie said above that in her defense she thought they were maggies um NOOOOOOO. I asked about the shoes at my house on Sunday night and she said they were hers that she bought them at Target and then went home and told my mother and Grandma that she lied to my face. No. She has no defense. Also, i only forgot my dogs for MAYBE a millisecond. I slammed the door and walked right back in. Not too traumatic for them. It was traumatic for me. My sister lied to me. Don't trust anyone. That's my motto.
Melanie
Just now checking my mail and I too had a great visual of the whole thing and laughed out loud reading it. Carlie the "perfect one" has a flaw.
Maggie
Carlie was never perfect.
Not now. Not ever.
Carlie
Psh.
I was and still am the bestest.
Becoming fearless
Broke a promise already…….because I wrote nothing yesterday. I did write the date down as I said I would but I did it just a minute ago so I even cheated on that. I’ll try not to do it again. It rained pretty much all day and ULM's first home game was yesterday, don’t know why I added that except for the fact that it’s possible I wrote nothing yesterday because there was nothing to write about. It’s as good an excuse as any. Our second to last meal before fasting was fried chicken….yum. Slept very little last night and prayer was hard for me. But church was as good as it’s ever been. There were so many things to love. The worship was great; the preaching was great, by Jamal and Dale. God touched my life again but it was different this time. I am grateful for His patience with me and His love for me. I made some ground today in my quest to feel peace and feel God’s love and yet all I did was receive because I didn’t DO ANYTHING but show up. I’m learning more and more that giving God access is as big a deal as anything. So church was good and great and wonderful….all of the good adjectives and I’m glad I was there to be a part of it.
I know I will follow God no matter the cost but I want the cost to not scare me. Or I want not knowing what the cost will be to not scare me. And I know that I am closer to that goal than I was last night. I choose to follow and I want to feel Jesus closer than my own skin all the time. I know He is with me and I know He loves me but I want to feel that all the time and I refuse to accept less than that.
I want to be fearless…..not because I’m never afraid….but because I trust God with all my heart. And now I am going to bed and hope to do a better job tomorrow.
But I will quit before I become a total whiner……or even wiener.
Psalm 1:3
They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.
I know I will follow God no matter the cost but I want the cost to not scare me. Or I want not knowing what the cost will be to not scare me. And I know that I am closer to that goal than I was last night. I choose to follow and I want to feel Jesus closer than my own skin all the time. I know He is with me and I know He loves me but I want to feel that all the time and I refuse to accept less than that.
I want to be fearless…..not because I’m never afraid….but because I trust God with all my heart. And now I am going to bed and hope to do a better job tomorrow.
But I will quit before I become a total whiner……or even wiener.
Psalm 1:3
They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.
A day to remember
September 11, 2009
When hard times come I would like to think I am ready for them but instead my insides feel a lot like mush. Today I have chosen not to dwell on what happened on this date 8 years ago but it’s not because I don’t care or have forgotten. The heartache of people once again facing the loss of their loved ones is too unbearable to me. It becomes too real again on this day and the stories about how people died and were trapped and knew that they were going to die and never see their family again is so terrible. Some years I watch all the shows and some years I just can’ face it. This has been one of those I can’t face it kind of years.
So all 6 of us went out to Moon Lake road tonight looking for anything interesting crawling along but there were none to be found. Lots of high flying frogs though, they jump with such determination as they cross the road, but some don’t make it to the other side. I do feel bad for them. I’m glad I’m not a frog.
No mice were found by Dottie today, thank goodness and as I failed to point out last night, the real freak out should have been, “Do we need to sell the house because 1 mouse was found in the backyard?!" I realize that they may be out there but until I am actually faced with that fact I like to ignore that vermin may be nearby. Mice are not my friends. Dottie also catches and eats locusts. She is a rural country dog and she embraces her country side. I love that dog and I’m glad she found us. Some days are good. Today ranked in that category.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in hm would not perish but have eternal life.
When hard times come I would like to think I am ready for them but instead my insides feel a lot like mush. Today I have chosen not to dwell on what happened on this date 8 years ago but it’s not because I don’t care or have forgotten. The heartache of people once again facing the loss of their loved ones is too unbearable to me. It becomes too real again on this day and the stories about how people died and were trapped and knew that they were going to die and never see their family again is so terrible. Some years I watch all the shows and some years I just can’ face it. This has been one of those I can’t face it kind of years.
So all 6 of us went out to Moon Lake road tonight looking for anything interesting crawling along but there were none to be found. Lots of high flying frogs though, they jump with such determination as they cross the road, but some don’t make it to the other side. I do feel bad for them. I’m glad I’m not a frog.
No mice were found by Dottie today, thank goodness and as I failed to point out last night, the real freak out should have been, “Do we need to sell the house because 1 mouse was found in the backyard?!" I realize that they may be out there but until I am actually faced with that fact I like to ignore that vermin may be nearby. Mice are not my friends. Dottie also catches and eats locusts. She is a rural country dog and she embraces her country side. I love that dog and I’m glad she found us. Some days are good. Today ranked in that category.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in hm would not perish but have eternal life.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
A mouse
Dottie caught a mouse in the backyard tonight, and she was tossing it around like a rag doll. I guess her country dog roots came out. She brought it to the back door as if to share, but I made her stay outside. Vermin in the mouth one second, and wanting inside the next....is not enough degrees of separation. So because John and Owen were at the Walkers watching the Steelers game, I had to scoop it up with a shovel and bury it in the yard while Olivia pretended to be busy holding one sad little flashlight. And mouse burying gives me one more good reason to not like the Steelers. It’s not my job to scoop and bury but the Pittsburgh Steelers made me do it. Whatever.....that’s all for today short and sweet. Well, not really sweet but to the point.
Lord help me be more like you and less of me and remind me that when you see me, you see Jesus, even when I'm burying a mouse.
1 Corinthians 1:26-27
26Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you.
27Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And He chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.
Lord help me be more like you and less of me and remind me that when you see me, you see Jesus, even when I'm burying a mouse.
1 Corinthians 1:26-27
26Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you.
27Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And He chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.
School, electricity, and moving on
Well this was an interesting day. Owen and I worked on his schoolwork A LOT today and we fought over multi things. I even grabbed his pencil and threw it down the hall and after we both cooled off, we went back at it, the schoolwork that is. It’s clear to see that home school is more challenging than I thought it would be. There are 9000 distractions here and my kids are looking for every single one of them. So I’m not sad to see this school day end and tomorrow will be another chance to do it better.
We had a crazy rainstorm this evening that knocked out power at our house for almost four hours. It was hot and frustrating and it looked like our street was the only one without lights. And since I’ve been remiss in making sure we had enough candles for such emergencies, it was like a freaking bat cave in here. After taking a shower by flashlight, which I would never recommend, Emma, Olivia and I went for a short ride so I could cool off with car air since it was sweating hot in the house. It was a brilliant idea and did the job but I was faced with my own righteous indignation that every single person in town had lights except for half of our street. Anyway as we were rounding the corner to come home, we were all delighted to see the lights were back on but as we turned into our driveway, our house was pitch black. Not one light on anywhere. How could it be possible that our house would be the only house in town with power not restored? We walked in to find Owen huddled over the computer with the last bit of surviving battery and we started turning on lights. He was clueless and amazed. It seems when the lights went off earlier, the kids had turned off every light in the house so when they finally came back on there was no "test" light to let anyone know we had electricity again. And so John unnecessarily showered by flashlight as well and somehow he decided it was Owen’s responsibility to know when the lights had come back on. The girls and I were very amused. And so goes the day. The lights are working and the air condition is running. And I hear the faint sound of.........ahhhhhhhhh.
On another note, John and I have some very difficult decisions to make. We have prayed and wondered and waited and…..I could go on but there’s no need. And so we wait some more. As much as I don’t want to be a failure, I have to face the fact that I have failed many times and I wish I could change past decisions but it’s impossible. And again I ask forgiveness for mistakes and wonder where we’ll be next week, let alone next year. I don’t want broken hearts and I hope I don’t have to live with any but we’ll see as the rest of this year continues. I’m finding that the more I wonder about things, the more questions I have. So, I’ll sit and wait and hope that I feel God near me no matter what happens and believe for the best, even if my faith is weak and small and the giants are looming large in the near distance. Sigh……. I want my family to be together and happy and safe. How did we get to this place? And yet I believe we tried to do the right thing even when we were struggling.
On a happier thought, Caleb Hathorn is engaged and he is one of my favs. He has such a way of delivering a phrase that just cracks me up and since I love to laugh, he instantly became a favorite. He is truly one of the funny people. And so kids that I knew when they were babies…..I could pick them up in my arms…..are now grown up enough to get married. I think that means I’m getting old but I in fact thought earlier today that if I had to choose between wisdom and youth, I would have to take wisdom every time. I know I could do a better job raising my kids with all I have learned in my fifty years but as everyone knows, it just doesn’t work that way. So I will live with the mistakes I have made and remember I asked my kids and God to forgive me for the things I did wrong and believe the hurts I caused will be filled up by God’s unfailing love. I have found 121 Scriptures about His unfailing love.
With tomorrow comes the hope of a new day and another chance.
My fifty years have been pretty wonderful.
Psalm 37:3-4
3Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart's desires.
We had a crazy rainstorm this evening that knocked out power at our house for almost four hours. It was hot and frustrating and it looked like our street was the only one without lights. And since I’ve been remiss in making sure we had enough candles for such emergencies, it was like a freaking bat cave in here. After taking a shower by flashlight, which I would never recommend, Emma, Olivia and I went for a short ride so I could cool off with car air since it was sweating hot in the house. It was a brilliant idea and did the job but I was faced with my own righteous indignation that every single person in town had lights except for half of our street. Anyway as we were rounding the corner to come home, we were all delighted to see the lights were back on but as we turned into our driveway, our house was pitch black. Not one light on anywhere. How could it be possible that our house would be the only house in town with power not restored? We walked in to find Owen huddled over the computer with the last bit of surviving battery and we started turning on lights. He was clueless and amazed. It seems when the lights went off earlier, the kids had turned off every light in the house so when they finally came back on there was no "test" light to let anyone know we had electricity again. And so John unnecessarily showered by flashlight as well and somehow he decided it was Owen’s responsibility to know when the lights had come back on. The girls and I were very amused. And so goes the day. The lights are working and the air condition is running. And I hear the faint sound of.........ahhhhhhhhh.
On another note, John and I have some very difficult decisions to make. We have prayed and wondered and waited and…..I could go on but there’s no need. And so we wait some more. As much as I don’t want to be a failure, I have to face the fact that I have failed many times and I wish I could change past decisions but it’s impossible. And again I ask forgiveness for mistakes and wonder where we’ll be next week, let alone next year. I don’t want broken hearts and I hope I don’t have to live with any but we’ll see as the rest of this year continues. I’m finding that the more I wonder about things, the more questions I have. So, I’ll sit and wait and hope that I feel God near me no matter what happens and believe for the best, even if my faith is weak and small and the giants are looming large in the near distance. Sigh……. I want my family to be together and happy and safe. How did we get to this place? And yet I believe we tried to do the right thing even when we were struggling.
On a happier thought, Caleb Hathorn is engaged and he is one of my favs. He has such a way of delivering a phrase that just cracks me up and since I love to laugh, he instantly became a favorite. He is truly one of the funny people. And so kids that I knew when they were babies…..I could pick them up in my arms…..are now grown up enough to get married. I think that means I’m getting old but I in fact thought earlier today that if I had to choose between wisdom and youth, I would have to take wisdom every time. I know I could do a better job raising my kids with all I have learned in my fifty years but as everyone knows, it just doesn’t work that way. So I will live with the mistakes I have made and remember I asked my kids and God to forgive me for the things I did wrong and believe the hurts I caused will be filled up by God’s unfailing love. I have found 121 Scriptures about His unfailing love.
With tomorrow comes the hope of a new day and another chance.
My fifty years have been pretty wonderful.
Psalm 37:3-4
3Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart's desires.
Starting over again for the first time
When I start writing, I am so very critical of everything I say and how I say it. I begin with a thought and then I try to expound on that thought and eventually I can be somewhat pleased about what I get on paper. BUT after I walk away, and then return, and reread, I completely destroy everything that I had written. I tear the words to shreds and start over and over and over and then eventually put it away never to continue at all.
So tonight I begin by saying this time I will purpose to continue even if I don’t think it's very good and I will try to leave it alone......although I have reread and rewritten this about 40 times already. I want to write about family stories and things God has done for me and and make it something worthwhile having.
How to begin may be the most difficult part but I'm trying to make progress. I have been thinking for years now that everything I wrote was terrible because I didn’t have any anointing for writing and until I did, nothing good would come of it. But now I will write and trust God and ask Him to help me and be patient with me…which He already has been…for years. If I can make something of this just for myself, then who knows what will come next. And I will try to be satisfied…I think. But I know in the deepest part of my heart, where no one is ever invited….it’s rare that I even invite God….what I really want it to be. And so for now I will be disciplined and write something every single day, even if it’s just the day’s date and purpose in my heart to reveal something about myself....maybe even from that deepest part of my heart. Or….more likely I will just ask God to come in for a visit…..just Him and me. And then later I’ll have to decide who I can trust other than Him.
Those heart places are very private and not easily shared with others even if that someone is God. And yes I know He already knows everything that is there but because He is a gentleman, He doesn't tamper with the things that He knows I’m not ready to face. So even though for now I'm thinking I'll only invite Him for a visit, I hope sooner than later He will just know that He's welcome there all the time. And even though I may be a bit afraid, I know it will be OK.
I have a friend that tells me that God won't make us face the hurts that need healing until He knows we are ready. And even then He won't push us to do it but instead waits for us to offer them up to Him. He also knows how difficult some of those things are to fix…..and so He waits on us…..patiently……even if it may be long past the time to face it. And He lets us tell Him, “No I'm not ready,” until one day you know and He knows that it’s time. And no matter how much it may hurt or how afraid you may be, you know that He has to do His work.
I will never reveal all the things that I tell God, because only He is capable of handling all my secrets and hurts. So as I go down this road with God and as He helps me keep my stride, we will see how far I get. I hope I can make it to the other side of whatever I am trying to get through. I may go back to talk about better days or sadder days but I know as I reveal more of myself to Him, somehow....He will make it OK.
Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
So tonight I begin by saying this time I will purpose to continue even if I don’t think it's very good and I will try to leave it alone......although I have reread and rewritten this about 40 times already. I want to write about family stories and things God has done for me and and make it something worthwhile having.
How to begin may be the most difficult part but I'm trying to make progress. I have been thinking for years now that everything I wrote was terrible because I didn’t have any anointing for writing and until I did, nothing good would come of it. But now I will write and trust God and ask Him to help me and be patient with me…which He already has been…for years. If I can make something of this just for myself, then who knows what will come next. And I will try to be satisfied…I think. But I know in the deepest part of my heart, where no one is ever invited….it’s rare that I even invite God….what I really want it to be. And so for now I will be disciplined and write something every single day, even if it’s just the day’s date and purpose in my heart to reveal something about myself....maybe even from that deepest part of my heart. Or….more likely I will just ask God to come in for a visit…..just Him and me. And then later I’ll have to decide who I can trust other than Him.
Those heart places are very private and not easily shared with others even if that someone is God. And yes I know He already knows everything that is there but because He is a gentleman, He doesn't tamper with the things that He knows I’m not ready to face. So even though for now I'm thinking I'll only invite Him for a visit, I hope sooner than later He will just know that He's welcome there all the time. And even though I may be a bit afraid, I know it will be OK.
I have a friend that tells me that God won't make us face the hurts that need healing until He knows we are ready. And even then He won't push us to do it but instead waits for us to offer them up to Him. He also knows how difficult some of those things are to fix…..and so He waits on us…..patiently……even if it may be long past the time to face it. And He lets us tell Him, “No I'm not ready,” until one day you know and He knows that it’s time. And no matter how much it may hurt or how afraid you may be, you know that He has to do His work.
I will never reveal all the things that I tell God, because only He is capable of handling all my secrets and hurts. So as I go down this road with God and as He helps me keep my stride, we will see how far I get. I hope I can make it to the other side of whatever I am trying to get through. I may go back to talk about better days or sadder days but I know as I reveal more of myself to Him, somehow....He will make it OK.
Romans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
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